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simpforhoon · 3 years ago

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just you. (p.js) *ೃ༄

pairing: soft dom! jay × female reader

genre: smut, fluff, soulmate au! kind of angsty it has a happy ending I swear (praise, making out, protected sex, oral (f-receiving)).

summary: in a world where everyone gets the name of their soulmate tattooed on their wrists when they turn 18, finding out your best friend is your soulmate was not how you planned your 18th birthday to go. now, what’s so bad about that you might ask? you see, jay despises the thought of soulmates. but maybe he doesn’t despise them so much when it comes to you.

please note, this work is purely that of fiction. and not meant to represent what the enhypen members are like in real life.

A/N: guys no why am I so soft,, anyway I’ve been wanting to write this for a while now, so I hope you enjoy!! and I'm reposting this now, as this didnt get a lot of notes on my old account cause of all the reporting and stuff!

word count: 3.4k

warnings: mentions of heartbreak, crying, mentions of food.

1 week ago

you bit your nails as you paced up and down your room, a nervous habit you’d picked up in your junior year of high school whilst dealing with the tremendous stress and pressure school put on you. well lucky for you, you had graduated now and your 18th birthday was just around the corner. specifically, exactly a week from now.

your best friend jay sat on your bed staring at you with amusement written all over his face as he quietly observed you, before moving up to stop you and pull your hands away from your face. “you’re going to wear yourself out” he mumbled softly, pulling you to sit next to him and rubbing your shoulder in a comforting manner.

“I know I know, I’m just nervous, what if they’re all the way on the other side of the world? or even worse, what if they’re someone I know??” the panicked expression on your face was seemingly too much for jay to handle as before you knew it, he had almost rolled off your bed, laughing his ass off at you.

you see, your “dearest” best friend jay never believed in soulmates. he himself never actually got a name on his wrist, a sign that his soulmate had not reached the age to get theirs. to say he was ecstatic would be an understatement as he was at a party that very night, hooking up with a random girl before going over to your house the next morning with a massive hangover and a sullen expression.

it hurt you to see him that way, hooking up with random people, praying that he wouldnt run into his soulmate. and it hurt even more when you thought of how his soulmate was probably so excited to meet him even if they didn’t know him yet.

if only you knew where you would be a week later, wishing it was you who never met him.

present day

the time on your phone read 11:57, and jay had shown up to your house at exactly 11:30, punctual as always, giving up his usual saturday night parties to spend the night before your special day with you instead. he held your hand in his, one thumb running up and down the expanse of your knuckles soothingly, the only thing grounding you in the tense moments before what was basically the biggest moment of your life. your eyes never met his once, only flickering from the clock to your wrist every few seconds, almost as if it would appear before time if you stared long enough.

12:00 a.m.

it was almost as if everything stopped in that moment as the words appeared on your skin. the crickets stopped chirping, that one car alarm outsode your house stopped beeping and both you and Jay stopped breathing, even if it was just for a few seconds. one by one, letter by letter, black ink slowly trailed up the soft skin on your clean wrist, marking your skin for the rest of eternity. you watched with bated breath as tbe letters curved their way into your skin, into your soul.

“P-A-R-K” looks like your soulmate would have the same last name as your best friend. “J-O-N-” that was when the realisation of what was about to happen dawned upon you. “no, no, no, no” was all you could think. “this wasn’t supposed to happen”

meeting jay’s eyes for a split second, you could see the shock on his face, the same shock you knew was written all over your face at that very moment. yanking your hand out of his warmer one, you stared at the 2 words displayed on your wrist. “park jongseong” you whispered as a one lone tear ran down your cheek, falling to you chin before disappearing into the soft material of your sweater.

this prompted jay to push up his own sleeve, the words that seem to have appeared on his wrist confirmed what you both already knew by that point. jay park, your best friend since you were 5, your rock, your everything, was your soulmate. if the situation were anything but this, you would have been jumping for joy, ecstatic that your soulmate was the man you’d grown up with your whole life. but unfortunately, that was not the case.

“_______” he whispered, voice hoarse as he held your hand in his again. gripping it tightly this time so you wouldn’t be able to let go this time. not that you wanted to anyway. “jay” you whispered back, attempting to smile at him, despite the tears that were threatening to overflow at any moment. “I-I need time to think” he said, so softly, his eyes full of nothing but remorse. “I understand jay, take your time, don’t rush okay?” you replied, squeezing his hand in reassurance. he wistfully smiled at you one last time as he pushed himself off your bed and walked out of your bedroom, closing the door with a small ‘click’, leaving you alone in the darkness of your room, mind racing and wondering what were you were going to do with this newfound information.

you fell asleep after much tossing and turning, your mind full of nothing but jay and his name that was now tattooed into the inside of your wrist. you were woken up by the bright smile of your parents, you mother holding a plate of pancakes and wishing you a happy birthday. the sight alone was enough to make you burst into tears as you wrapped your arms around her, seeking her familiar scent and comfort after the rough night you had. your parents seemed shocked, but did not press you to open up, wrapping their arms around you as they attempted to comfort you.

your mom was no foolish woman, as she seems to have caught on to what was bothering you on your special day. “its about your soulmate isn’t it?” she asked as she placed a glass of your favourite chocolate smoothie in front of you, wiping her hands on her apron. you looked up at her, disbelief written all over your face as she chuckled at you. “how did you know?” you asked as she smiled slyly at you. “I have my ways, and besides, I’m your mother” she replied with a wink. you groaned, dramatically resting your head on the counter as she laughed and gave in. “I saw jay walk out of your room last night with tears streaming down his face, and considering you woke up crying too, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what went down there”.

“you should talk it out with him sweetie, he’s not just your soulmate, he’s your best friend. despite how he feels about this whole fate thing, I’m sure the both of you will be okay.” her words reassured you as you grabbed your backpack, and walked through your front door. not even 2 minutes later you heard the biggest scream and you were tackled into a hug. giggling, you wrapped your arms around the taller boy as he squeezed you tightly. “happy birthday ______!” he said as he let go of you and continued your walk to school. “thanks sunoo” you said, smiling at the younger boy who had the biggest grin on his face.

“soooooo” he began, looking at you with an expectant expression on his face. you pursed your lips, already predicting the question that was due to escape his mouth any second from now. “jay” you said, cutting him off before he could even open his mouth. “JAY?!?!!?” he said, a little too loudly, mouth agape as he processed the information. you shrugged as he linked his arm with yours, understanding that you didnt want to talk about it.

luckily, no one pressed you about your soulmate for the rest of the day, warded off by sunoo’s glare the moment they looked like they were going to ask. you sat next to jay in all your classes, the atmosphere tense and awkward between the two of you. everyone seemed to have figured our what happened by that alone, your normally boisterous voices muted and soft. you went out after school with sunoo and riki, your mood heightened by the laughs and jokes of the two bickering boys.

when you got home, the house was eerily quiet, your parents nowhere in sight, all the lights turned off save the one in your living room. and there on the sleek grey sofa sat Jay, looking down at his hands as he anxiously played around with the rings he always wore. your footsteps alerted him of your presence, as he shot up off your sofa to greet you with a crooked smile on his face, black hair sticking up in every direction.

you smiled at him, already preparing yourself for the worst, as he walked towards you. “your parents have gone out, they handed me the keys and told me to come and talk to you if I wanted, and-” he cut himself off in the middle of his sentence, taking a deep breath and holding your hand. here goes nothing he thought. “I want to try. this whole soulmate thing I mean. maybe i wouldnt be this way if it was anyone else, but it’s you, my best friend, and I don’t want to lose you.” he mumbled out the last part, but it was still clear enough for you to hear. you couldn’t help the smile that stretched across your face at his words, his own face breaking out into a grin at your expression. you reached up on your tippy toes to wrap your arms around his neck as his hands went around your waist.

he buried his face in your hair, your soft vanilla scent calming his racing heart, and that was when he realised how much you really meant to him. he loved when you would always being him snacks after soccer practice, he loved when you let him lay his head on your lap and you ran your hands through his hair, he loved seeing the expressions you made when you ate his food, he loved you.

“I made something for you” he said, pulling away from your embrace, leading you to your kitchen and making you sit down on the counter. he grabbed a plate of your favourite pasta and a fork before lifting up a mouthful and holding it out to feed it to you. you smiled, wrapping your lips around the fork as the flavours exploded in your mouth. “oh my gosh, this is good, you’ve really outdone yourself.” he smiled at the complement before pressing a kiss to your cheek and muttering a little “happy birthday love”, leaving your face feeling hot and an uncontrollable smile on your face.

the rest of the evening went by in hin feeding you food and taking a few notes of it himself, lots of little cheek kisses, before the two of you settled down on the couch to watch a movie. it seemed like jay had gotten over his awkwardness as he pulled you to sit between his legs the moment the movie started. you looked back at him in shock, wondering when he got so bold before he pressed a kiss to your lips and told you to focus on the screen.

it might not have been the perfect first kiss, but it was with jay and that was enough. he played with your hair throughout the movie, and moved it aside at one point, pressing little kisses along the expanse of your neck. it was when he landed his lips on one particular spot that you let out a little noise, one you never even knew you could make that made him sit up a little straighter.

it was almost as if a switch flipped within him as he tightened his grip around your waist, one hand slipping up your hoodie to caress the skin near your waist. “I didn’t know you could make such pretty noises baby” he whispered in your ear, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. “well i didn’t know i could either” you whispered back, the realisation of what was about to happen making your body feel like it was on fire.

“are you sure you want this? we don’t have to do anything you dont want to sweetheart” he said, pulling away with a kiss to your cheek. you shifted so that you were facing him, legs wrapped around his waist and you reached your hands up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m sure jay, theres no one I’d rather do this with than you.” that was all the affirmation he needed, as within seconds you were being dragged to your bedroom by an overexcited jay.

he pressed you up against your room door, hands coming up to lift your thighs and wrap them around his waist, your core meeting his very obvious bulge. taking advantage of the gasp that left you, he allowed his tongue to skip into your mouth, taking control of every aspect of the kiss. pulling away, he brought you to your bed, gently letting you down onto the mattress, and reaching up to pull your hoodie off you.

“so beautiful” he whispered as he reached behind you to pull your bra off, before lifting his own arms to pull his own shirt off, leaving his body on display for you. just for you. he reached down to tug one of your nipples into his mouth, gently sucking and wrapping his tongue around the sensitive bud, his actions leaving your mouth open in a silent moan.

within minutes, both of you were left completely naked as jay continued to trail his lips down your body, pressing little kisses to your inner thigh before his mouth finally met your core, the smallest motion of his lips leaving you breathless and squirming. “stay still sweetheart, good girls don’t move around so much”. his words sent vibrations spreading throughout your body, not doing anything to help with the heat that was coursing through your veins.

his tongue delved in and out of your dripping hole, one of his hands rubbing your clit while the other held your legs open for him. “jay- i- I’m gonna-” but he was gone the moment the words fell from your mouth. and he was a sight to see. your juices mixed with his, drool and spit dripped down his chin, as he ran his tongue over his lips with a smirk on his face.

“oh so the baby wants to cum? don’t worry love, I’m going to make you feel so good”. he reached into his jacket and pulled out a condom before rolling it on and lining himself I with your entrance. he grasped your chin gently, pulling you up to look at him and planting a loving kiss on your lips. “I love you so much sweetheart, so so much” he whispered, pulling away from your lips. “I love you too jay” you said back, watching as he smiled once, before intertwining your hands and then, pushing himself into you.

nothing had ever felt as good in that moment as he gently, softly pushed himself inside. the feeling was euphoric, having your soulmate inside you in such an intimate manner. your bodies moulding together perfectly, bursts of colour lighting up the back of your eyelids as your eyes closed at the feeling of him in you. he began thrusting in and out of you slowly, not wanting to hurt you. but at your signal, he began moving faster, groans and moans escaping both your lips, finding pleasure and love in each other.

it didn’t take long for you to reach your high at all, his length hitting you in all the right places, leading you to ride out your high much faster than you expected, jay following soon after. he finished inside the condom, reaching out to pull it off and throw it away, before walking to your bathroom and grabbing a wet cloth to clean you up with.

he was greeted with the sight of your tired smile as he returned, gently cleaning you before tossing the rag and gathering you up in his arms, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “does this mean you’re mine now?” he asked, reaching down to bury his head in your hair, his hands absent-mindedly tracing shapes and figures on your bare shoulder. “it does if it means you’re mine too”. he smiled at your response, pulling the blanket over the two of you as you drifted off to sleep in the arms of the one person who would stay with you forever.

thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed and I hope you drank enough water today! ♡♡♡

#enhypen imagines #enhypen smut #enhypen hard hours #enhypen x reader #enhypen #heeseung smut #jay smut #jake smut #sunghoon smut #kpop smut #kpop

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chuuya-centric · 4 years ago

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making out hcs

characters: osamu dazai, ranpo edogawa, chuuya nakahara

genre: suggestive

warnings: gn reader, no pronouns used, uhm 🧍 yk it gets a lil steamy and has like mentions of sex ??? but theres def nothing super explicit

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↬making out with dazai is always ............ interesting to say the least 🧐 it can happen anywhere, at anytime, and you'll never know until it's too late

↬sometimes it'll start out as a quick peck, and then another, and another, and— hey, is it just you or does each kiss keep getting longer 🤨 when did he slip your coat off ??-?_;?? now his arms r around your waist and .............. o look at that he's got you pressed up against the wall with u gasping for air bc he's barely giving you anytime to breathe

↬speaking of, his kisses always leave u breathless 🧎 he is such a good kisser please lord i just know it 🛐🛐

↬he usually just leaves after these types of makeout sessions (much to your annoyance) 💀💀💀 he likes getting you all worked up and then going right back to work like he didnt just have his tongue down your throat and his leg between ur thighs

↬other times his kisses r slower n more passionate from the get-go and u know exactly where this is ab to lead (these types of make out sessions will often lead to sex tbh, they're always really sensual and smooth and he has no intent of leaving u all high n dry)

↬personally he prefers kissing w (a lot of) tongue, but if ur not into it, he'll understand and "do his best" to take that into account (but dont be surprised if you end up w his tongue in your mouth either way 💀 if you like it ? fantastic 😚💖 if you dont ?? he loves seeing u squeal in disgust and try to push him away in surprise LMFAO)

↬he always somehow tastes like sake with a little bit of mint ?;?_(&?$-_??$&? dont ask me how but he does 🤨🚶 that being said he tastes better than you'd expect and kissing him is a magical experience 🤤

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↬ranpo's kisses r sweet like candy

↬jk but he does taste like candy so ig that wasnt an entirely inaccurate statement 😚😚

↬he isn't usually one to initiate the kiss tbh, he prefers when you do it LMAO 💀 but whenever he does, they're most likely to be a quick peck to your lips or cheek (he isn't really a fan of any kinds of pda bc he actually gets embarrassed rlly easily)

↬behind closed doors, however, is a different story 🚶🧑‍🦯 hes a lil more likely to initiate the kiss and whenever he does ............ o lord 🧎🧎🧎 theyre fs a reflection of him

↬ranpo's kisses r very fun and airy, !! and out of these three men here, he's the most likely to laugh and smile and giggle in between kisses

↬making out with him is an experience given to you from the gods PLEASSSKEEEE and it's never awkward bc if sth happens you'll both just laugh ab it and carry on

↬usually makeout sessions start bc u gave him a kiss, but he was feeling clingy (not that he'd ever admit it 💀💀💀) so he pulled you back in for another, and another, and another, and hey look at that, you've been kissing him for the past 15 minutes and now ur both gasping for breath

↬doesn't really mind tongue, enjoys it even 🧏 and when he tastes so sweet, how could you refuse him 🧐❓

↬OH MY GOD HIS FAVOURITE THING IS WHEN let me turn off caps okay his favourite thing is when he's eating his candies or whatever (probably like hard candy tho yk so you cant just bite into that shit immiediately it has to sit and melt a lil idk) and u ask him what flavour it is and he'll pull you into a kiss and let you taste for yourself and take a guess (dont be surprised if you actually end up w the candy afterwards, he doesnt mind sharing so long as it's with you <33)

↬RANPO MAKE OUT WITH ME CHALLENGE ;!_(&!-??&!:?:!&(:!:!_!&;

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↬chuuya's kisses r nothing short of rough and passionate

↬his kisses also tend to be v rushed and sloppy however that doesn't mean they're not enjoyable

↬i'd dare call him the middle ground between dazai and ranpo 🤨🧐 kisses aren't like every five minutes (dazai im lookin at you 🤨), but rather spaced out throughout the day as to keep you satisfied

↬once again ............. he is a tongue man. he tastes like a fine (slightly sweet?) red wine nine times out of ten (the other one time he just tasted like straight fuckin mint ??? 😭💀 like ur eyes started watering after and he got really concerned like "babe r u ok 😟” and you were like "yeah but y THE FUCK is your breath so minty" 💀💀)

↬i am so sorry everyone here likes tongue, i'll make more hcs like these feat. mfs who don't like it LMAOO

↬he understands if ur not a fan of tongue, so unlike SOMEONE, he'll actually take your personal preference into account and do his absolute best to keep his tongue to himself 🤒🤒

↬ok so similar to ranpo, chuuya loves sharing his wine w you — thru making out kissing ofc 🧎 never passes up an opportunity to take a (rather large) swig and let it pass between your parted lips (might get a lil carried away and slip u a lil tongue but yk it is what it is 🧑‍🦯🧑‍🦯🧑‍🦯)

↬he actually has a tendency to get carried away regardless tbh 😚 it starts out as jus like a short lil kiss but yk ............ u come back in for another ............... and another — is anyone else seeing a pattern here 🧐🤨❓ these three men r the best kissers in bsd and i do NOT take criticism — and oops, now ur sitting on his desk with him standing in between ur legs as he starts trailing kisses down your neck before he suddenly remembers he still has work to do and he tells you he promises he'll finish what he started later (and oh boy was it worth the wait 😩😩😫🤤🤞)

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #osamu dazai #dazai x reader #osamu dazai x reader #chuuya nakahara #chuuya x reader #edogawa ranpo #ranpo edogawa #ranpo x reader #bsd x reader #city.journalist #gn.reader

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mythiccheroacademia · 4 years ago

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Hey!! Could we please get more sugar daddy fics with a black reader ofc 😋 idk if you've done shoto already but that'd be nice or hawks and deku💕

A/N: “wrist on glitter, waist on thinner, imma show you how to bag a eight-figure nigga” 👅💋 I enjoyed this way too much

All characters are 18+

Warnings: it got a lil spicy so imma put the line

Todoroki Shouto:

this mf has money to burn

we all know todoroki came out the womb w cash from his hair to his ass

he’s on some “yes, jeff bezos knows me” type shit so if you’re tryna end up with someone that’s gonna possibly buy you a house, he’s your guy

he slid into your dms after you posted a pic with your skin moisturized and glistening under golden hour and your body had him wanting to run laps

he had been plottin on you for a min but never got the motivation to do something about it until then

he’s a no strings attached type of sugar daddy

todoroki is a big name even outside of hero work and he’s well aware of all the people that have tried to use him. so instead of letting that happen, he’s decided to do things on his own terms

when yall first started talking, he questioned you like this was managerial position at apple 💀

best believe he ran an in-depth background check and made you sign an NDA 💀💀💀

he was a tough one

but you passed w flying colors and y’all settled on an arrangement

you have a weekly allowance that hits your bank account every saturday with some bonuses that he’ll give you depending on how the week goes

todoroki isnt needy nor is he one to be all up in your business

it’s actually weird in an endearing kind of way?

he only wants to have conversations with you

i mean, dont get me wrong, he’s up for anything you are

todoroki would be a liar if he said he never ended some nights with a picture of you and a hand down his pants

but that’s not what he’s mainly looking for

you figure out very quickly that shouto just wants someone to talk to

he’ll randomly hit up your phone and have a 30 min convo about something like the weather or hero politics, and then he’ll dip

next thing you know, you got $1000 in your cashapp

you kind of panicked bc like...wtf?

your dumb ass messaged him: “did you mean to send $1000?”

sis, dont put a question mark where God put a period

him: “Yes.”

and that was the end of that

you dont question anymore

he’s not doting in any kind of way, and sometimes you lowkey think he forgets about you, but you still get your allowance

doesn’t send a lot of gifts unless you explicitly state you want something

he doesnt text back a lot, but he tried to respond when he can

but i do see him liking it when you send him mundane things you do throughout your day, like pics of cookies you baked, or a cool plant you saw at home depot

and he enjoys the times you and him end up just trashing his father for nearly an hour. expect to find flowers, with some expensive ass coats or something at your door the next morning

he really fucks w your laid back vibe

sometimes he forgets you guys arent really supposed to be friends

Takami Kiego (Hawks):

this is not hawks’ first time being a sugar daddy

he’s hot, rich, and one of the most eligible bachelor’s in japan with a life that prevents him from having anything too serious

so, long story short, he’s a veteran at this

he used to be the type to reach out to instagram baddies but he had a couple bad run-ins and decided to stick with the official sites because it was a lot more secure on both ends

the funny thing was, you set up your account a long time ago as a joke. though at one point, you did take it seriously, but you came in contact with a lot of super creepy men that sexualized you for your skin and ethnicity.

you were tired of the “chocolate king/queen” and “amazonian god/dess” comments,so you took a break. you didnt have much activity since

so imagine youre surprise when the #2 hero hit your line talking about some

“Hey~ I’ll get straight to the point. I think you’re beautiful and I’d like to talk with you about an arrangement”

you thought this was a fake account, but after he chatting for a little and sending some pictures, you knew he was the real deal

hawks is your standard tit-for-tat transaction sugar daddy

he’s the type to hit you up at night with a “how ya doing, dove? got any pics for me?”

he’s good about his respect ad won’t do anything out of line

it’s the bare minimum, be he doesnt fetishize you so that’s always nice

however, he does make you call him daddy, sir, etc. whether it’s through text, call, or when y’all get together for...reasons

ngl his dicc game is fire

he might ghost you for a week or so but he’ll always come back with a nice check to make up for it

just be careful about catching feelings bc he’s so fucking smooth. he makes you feel like you’ve got his heart, but dont fall for that shit

if you think you can “change him” or fuflfil whatever wattpad romance fantasy lives in your head, he is not your guy. you better get on w your life before you get your heart broken

he’s here to suck, fuck, send pics, do a little phone call here n there, send some money, and go

if you’re not with all that, you might as well dip

but if you’re cool with that, rest assured, you’re gonna be living your best mf life with this man in your wallet

and good news, you might not be his only, but you are his favorite

there’s just something about you that’s got him giving you a few extra thousand than he normally does

he doesnt take his sugar babies on proper dates bc he’s gotta stay away from media outlets, but he will invite you to his office for a “lunch break”

if you ever surprise him with a cute but sexy hawks cosplay, you won’t have to work for two whole weeks bc you cant walk

overall, he’s a good sugar daddy. defintely good for your pockets and any other non-romantic desires you want fulfilled

Mirodirya Izuku:

the way you two met and came to this arrangement was more or less an accident

the life of the number one pro-hero was lonely and stressful

he’s tried to dip his toes in the water here and there, but it never worked out because not many people could deal with the fact that he’d always put hero work first

he was teetering on the edge of signing up for one of those sugar daddy/baby websites until he met you at some cafe he passed by

it’s cliche really. you were his server and, honestly? he was hooked on day one

he watched you intently as you pranced around in your cute uniform. he couldnt stop admiring your brown skin and eyes and how cute your hair was. you spoke with such enthusiasm and cheerfulness that he couldnt help but swoon. and it didn’t hurt that you were very easy on the eyes

he listened to you as you went on a spiel about how college was a fortune and how you stayed up last night for a project bc you had to pick up extra shifts

that’s when he made his decision

by the time the hero is out of the door, you collected the reciept and almost fainted when you realized he left you a $500 tip and his personal number

“i enjoyed talking to you today and i hope we can continue that...here’s something small to help with your bills. and i hope this isnt too forward but you’re very beautiful. stay safe. deku.”

and what did you do that night?

you called his ass right back

you were nervous as hell bc you still couldnt believe this was real, but after talking on the phone with him for two hours, an arrangement was set

midoriya is the most gentlemen like sugar daddy out there

you wake up to good morning texts and a few hundred in your bank account almost every two days

he goes crazy over your insta posts. and if you wear something green? expect a bonus

takes you out shopping unprovoked

izuku: “are you busy? i saw you were having a rough week and was wondering if you wanted to go to that new outlet mall downtown”

you: 🏃🏾‍♀️💨

you most certainly had homework due that night but what tf you look like missing out on that offer?

it’s after so many “dates” that deku realizes that he prefers hanging around you more than he should but he doesnt wanna ruin anything so he keeps that underwraps

he’s the idiot that goes into this thinking he won’t fall in love

deku defintely has some dirty thoughts about you but he doesnt try to bring it up unless you do first

if you’re comfortable with anything nsfw, you gone see a whole different side to izuku

he’s a giver, giver, giver, but when he recieves, he just about loses it

send him “innocent” pics of yourself matched with a string of filthy texts and he’ll combust

when you send him pics of yourself in deku-themed lingre, he deadass sends you a whole black card with your name on it as a thank you

you guys get very comfortable with each other very quickly

soon enough, DA’s start turning into y/n stayng over for a week

you both realize this relatiosnhip runs a lot deeper than an arrangement when he accidentally let it slip that he told his mom about you

he’s profusely apologizing but you shut him up with a kiss and tell him that you’ve kinda caught feelings yourself

your next conversation works out well for the both of you

#bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #deku x reader #izuku x black!reader #hawks x black!reader #hawks x reader #todoroki shouto x reader #shouto x black!reader #takami keigo #todoroki shouto #midoriya izuku #bnha x poc!reader #bnha x black reader #mha x poc!reader #mha x reader #mha x black reader #bnha x reader

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hauntedbythefanficsofmypast · 5 years ago

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Daminette Rough Layout AU #1

Warning- This is a Salt AU, it contains Lila salt, Adrien Salt, Alya Salt and Class Salt. Some of the Salt is dramatized, pkease read at your own digression.

Note- Changing things up a bit-they are in high school now-Damian 16 and Marinette 15 and juniors, obviously things are different from canon. Gabriel gave up both miraculous after Adrien dies in one of the akuma fights, he has Nooroo and Duusu bring them to the guardian. Marinette helps heal Duusu so that if he is ever used again the holder will not start to die. Soon after Master Fu takes back Adrien's miraculous and names Marinette the guardian.

He doesnt lose his memories but he does pass away a week later. Marinette also deletes her original website and makes and entire new one under MDC designs after Lila threatens to leave bad reviews.(This happens before she meets Damian, right when they are entering high school.)

They met online after Damian got tired of his brothers making fun of him for talking like an old man. He found Marinette on Twitter, (She has a very popular Twitter blog where she Tweets in English and is considered a meme god.) and after reading her tweets decided that she'd be a good teacher.

After reaching out they agreed on how much she'll be paid and a time that works best for both of them. Every Monday & Wednesday the video chat when Damian has his lunch and study period. For Damian it is 12 to 1 pm, and for Marinette it is 7 to 8 pm. After two months Marinette has successfully made Damian her friend, and he has began opening up to her more. Meanwhile Damian begins to mess with his brothers using memes.

Tim to Jason- I will die if I don't get coffee soon.

Damian passing by the kitchen on his phone- Then perish.

Jason-...Did he just?

Tim- Impossible.

_____________

Dick over the coms while on patrol-I really want candy right now.

Damian drops down next to him and pulls a tidepod of of his belt giving it to Dick before continuing on.

Dick-What the fuck...

Tim having seen from a distance-What did Damian give you candy?

Dick- He gave me a tidepod.

Jason-Your shitting me Goldie.

______________

Jason-What are you eating Damian?

Damian taking a bite of a pop tart- Ravioli...

Jason-Im going fucking crazy.

Alfred-Language Master Jason.

They now text each other durning their free time, Marinette loves receiving pictures of Damian's pets and silly pictures of Damian's friend Jon. Damian loves seeing pictures of her newest designs and Paris at night.

Jon is the only person who knows about Marinette and thats because he crashed one of Damian's classes. He gushes over the fact that Damian is talking to his favorite person on Twitter, then full on fanboys a second later when she follows him back on Twitter. Soon after she becomes friends with Jon too, Lila comes back. After two weeks of fighting her she stops after both Damian and Jon point out that if her classmates were really her friends they wouldnt believe someone they just met over her. Marinette stops doing extra things for the class no more free pastries, banners, clothes or anything. She spends majority of her time on school work, her comissions and talking with Damian and Jon.

Madame Bustier at one point asks her to stay after class. She tells her she is disappointed that Marinette is distancing herself form the class so much. Marinette just tells her that she is done, that if she wants a perfect role model then she should use Lila instead and leaves. The next day she tells Madame Bustier she is stepping down as class president, everyone in the class except for Chloe and Marinette vote for Lila. Marinette has had more free time then she has had in a while and is thriving. She is able to take more and more commissions and even allows Jagged and Clara to give other celebrities access to her website. With a push from Jon she also sets up a Twitter and Instagram account under MDC Designs. With in no time everyone is trying to get an MDC original.

At one point she gets a call from Jon asking her how much it would cost for a MDC original for his mom. Marinette smiles softly telling him to just get his moms measurements for her. When he argues she finally agrees to accept payment but gives him a family discount. Jon agrees with a huff, a month later Jon sends her a video of his mom opening his gift.

Lois-Oh Jon love you know you didnt have to get me anything.

Jon-And let Connor out do me this year? No way.

Connor laughing-Oh shut it Jon!

Jon-cone on open it already mom!

Lois lauging before unwrapping the box- Is this? Jon is this a MDC box?

Connor looking at him with wide eyes.

Jon-open it and see!

Clark-So thats why you asked me for her measurements.

Lois pulls a beautiful knee length navy blue pencil dress. It had a classy V neck and flounce bell sleeves Jon is this and MDC original?

Jon-weeell if you look at the inside of the right sleeve your see her signature marking. Thats not all though mom theres another box!

Lois grabs the other box and unwraps it opening it quickly to find a pair of white lace up Oxford pumps with matching navy laces, MDC hand stitched on the back in navy.

Lois-How did you-how did you get MDC originals?

Jon laughing-I'll never tell!

Marinette saves the video on her phone and tells him he wants a photo of her in it for her website. A week later he send her pictures of his mom in the outfit posing with his dad and the next day he send pictures of her posing with Bruce Wayne on the red carpet. She quickly posts them on Instagram and Twitter tagging Lois, Clark, Bruce and Daily Planet.

'I knew Mrs. Lane would make this one of a kind outfit look beautiful! I was happy to make the dress and shoes as a surprise from her son! Mrs. Lane your son has my number, if you ever want another original talk to him! 💋'

Lois immediately responds to her tweet thank her for the amazing gift, while also asking how her son got in contact with MDC.

Marinette- ' 🤫🤫😘😘💋'

Jon-'You'll never know!!'

Lois, with her bosses approval, writes an article joking about the mystery that is MDC at also an interview where she grills her son on how he knows MDC.

Its a blows up and part of Jon's interview becomes a meme. This part;

Jon-Superman, please come save me from my mom!

Marinette being the meme godess she is decides to quote it on Twitter, but she messes up and posts it on MDC desgins.

MDC-Superman, please come save me from these deadlines!

Half an hour later

MDC-That was meant for my personal Twitter...

Now everyone is also talking about MDC memeing.

After talking with the Kwami Marinette decides to tell Damian and Jon about her time as Ladybug, and how she still goes out and patrols to stop muggers. In return one day Damian and Jon flies him and Damian to paris and they finally meet in person and they tell her their own identities. They leave Gotham at 7 am in Gotham and make it to Paris at 3 pm and wait for her outside of her parents bakery. Marinette flips out and practically tackles the both if them in a hug. She pulls them inside happily introducing her parents to her American friends. After they tell her they decide to spend the rest of the day together. Marinette also takes their measurements telling them its for a surprise. Damian tells her that his brothers are obsessed with MDC and how the wouldnt stop hounding Jon when they found out he had gotten in contact with her.

They go out and Marinette shows them Paris while Jon is slowly pushing them together. He is ecstatic when Marinette wraps one of her fingers around Damien's finger and he respond by grabbing and holding her hand. They are all immensly happy until they are passing by a park and notices her class having a party. At first she doesnt care and just shrugs it off, until the class notices them. Alya accuses Marinette of trying to start drama, she rolls her eyes telling Alya she didnt even know about the party and was just showing her friends around. Damian frowns glaring at the class when he feels Marinette hand start to shake and releases her hand wrapping an arm around her waist in support. Jon is also frowning but simply reminds Marinette that they were going out to eat. Marinette nods and begins telling them about the restaurant they were going to while leaning into Damian's side.

They turn leaving the class behind only for Adrien to hurry after them. Adrien tries to convince Marinette to return and spend time with the class saying he missed his friend. Marinette tells him that they arent friends anymore, that friends dont allow lies to be spread about their friends. She takes the boys and they finally make it to the restaurant.

Damian pays refusing to let Marinette or Jon touch the check. They spend the rest of their time at Marinette's house watching movies until they leave at 9pm wishing Marinette goodnight and making it back to Gotham at 3 pm. When they get back to the manor Bruce confronts Damian asking why he got notified that Damian's card had been used in Paris. Thats how Bruce finds out about Marinette.

Bruce- shes been teaching you memes?

Damian-yes.

Bruce-...well at least your making friends.

Damian-dont tell the others, they'll want to meet her and Id rather not be embarrassed

Bruce-I wont say anything until they catch you then.

Around the end of Marinette's junior year Lila accuses Marinette of theft and she is once again expelled. Only this time Marinette gets the school board involved and she is quickly cleared of charges. once again. However she decides not to return to the school tired of their treatment. Instead with the help of Jagged and her parents permission she enrolls at Gotham Academy and doesnt tell Damian to surprise him. Jon does know that way he could help her.

Within the week Marinette is in Gotham in her new penthouse apartment with her new gaurdian, a maid/nanny that Penny had recommended. Her name is Margaery she is in her 60s. The next day Marinette is dropped of at school by Margaery, Jon is already there early and helps her get his schedule and everything. Then they wait for Damian to arrive hiding until the see him open his locker Jon distracts him while Marinette hides behind the locker door. The school is very surprised whe. Damian smiles brightly at seeing her. Within the day she is known around the school as both Sunshine and Gotham's new Goddess.

Soon enough Damian Marinette and Jon are never seen withiut tge other except in classes. Many teachers see Marinette as a blessing classes have been calmer shes always willing to volunteer and shes even started tutoring some of the students. Even though she entered late in the year she starts to help the student council and things were more organized and running smoother. What everyone is really happy about is how she seems to bring out the teen in Damian and encourage him to act his age. The only reason they havent posted about her and Damian's relationship is because Damian made it clear he didnt want his family to know.

He starts calling her Angel and Red Bird. Marinette starts calling him Dove and Birdie. They slowly start going on dates while also making sure to hang out with Jon so he didnt feel left behind. Its the beginning of summer when Marinette gets invited to a Wayne gala by Bruce himself with a little note.

'Miss Dupain-Cheng, I would like to meet the girl that has stolen my youngest's attention. Please do not inform him I invited you, I think it will be quite the surprise for him. -Bruce Wayne

She tells Damian to wear a seafoam green tie because it will bring out his eyes, in a sly way so that they will be matching. She then makes a seafoam green Asymmetrical A-line off the shoulders dress adding layers of tulle that forms teirs and finishes with horsehair hemlines. The MDC signature is stictched on to the second layer of tulle.

The night of the Gala she is dropped off by Margaery and Jon leaves his parents to meet her. She tells him that Damian didnt know either and Bruce wanted to surprise him. Jon starts laughing causing Marinette to dissolve into giggles. This catches Jon's parents eyes and they walk over. Jon wuickly introduces her as one of his best friends. Lois and Marinette quickly hit it off and enter the gala together with Jon and Clark following behind them. After 5 minutes Damian spots them, and discreetly hurries over to them.

Damian-Angel!

Lois and Clark are surprised at the nickname and that Damian is smiling even more surprised when he hugs her and holds her hand gently. They stare into each others eyes for a moment until Lois coughs catching boths attention. Damian greets them as he lets go of Marinette's hand wrapping an arm around her waist as she does the same. They stand talking with each other until Lois spots someone she wants to interview and hurries off with Clark. The three of them share a look before all saying food at once. Jon walks ahead of them as Marinette and Damian follow talking to themselves.

M-'Your father wanted to meet me so Im afraid I will no longer be a secret.'

D-'Of course he did, I was hoping to keep those embarrassments known as my brothers away.'

This causes Marinette to laugh leaning her head on his shoulder.

M-'I am sure they arent that bad.'

They spend a good half hour talking with Jon and eating before Bruce finds them and introduces himself to Marinette. Five minutes later she notices Damian's brothers starring at them in shock. She starts giggling and points it out to Damian who groans. Soon after the boys rush over to interrogate their brother dragging him away from Marinette Jon and Bruce.

While Damian is dealing with them Jagged and Penny both find Marinette. Eventually the boys force Damian to introduce them to Marinette. She hits it off with all of them promising to visit the mansion. Jon convinces Damian to ask Marinette to be his girlfriend. He asks her to dance with him and asks while they are dancing. That night Marinette Damian and Jon leave together for an impromptu sleepover at Marinette's. Margaery picks them up greeting both parents and assuring them that there kids will be safe, and they will be camping out in the living room.

Marinette surprises the boys with handmade pjs once they get to her house and Margaery surprises them with cookies. The next day she goes to the mansion with Damian and gets to know his brothers more piecing together who is who of the Batfamily. At one point Jason insinuates that Marinette couldnt fight so she challenges his to a spar. Jason being cocky holds back and gets his butt kicked, he asks for a rematch and doesnt hold back this time, still gets his butt kicked.

While Damian and Marinette are saying goodbye she jokes about how long its going to take his siblings to realize shes a hero not a civilian. Damian finds it hilarious. When Marinette gets home she tells Margaery that she was going up to the roof to look at the stars for inspiration. Margaery allows her making her take a blanket, hor chocolate and some cookies with her. That night Nightwing lands on her roof and 'startles' causing her to throw her cup at him hitting him in the gut

Robin chuckling-That bitch empty,

Mari and Robin together-Yeet!

Marinette laughs offering him a cookie as Nightwing gets up

Nightwing-Nice throw.

Marinette laughs harder her eyes twinkling.

Mari-Sorry you startled me I must have lost track of time I should head back home now. Have a safe patrol Birdies!

She says before passing other of them leaving the plate of cookies behind for them. Over the summer Marinette and Damian visit her parents for two weeks before returning to Gotham. The rest of the summer is filled with dates between her and Damian the Gotham Gazette is having a field day with them.

They're referred to as the Goddess and the Prince and every date is talked about the next day. When summer is over Marinette Damian and Jon are back for their senior year. Marinette decides to run for student body president and Jon runs as her vice president, they both tease Damian about being the trophy boyfriend and he responds that he is fine with it as long as hes the trophy boyfriend to Marinette. Marinette and Jon win with an almost unanimous vote. It is half way through their senior year when Damian's brothers realize she knows. Bruce and Babs already know. Jason teasingly jokes about Damian outing them to a civilian and Marinette jist goes

Marinette-Jayby(This is her nickname for him), I have beaten you in spars 9 out of 10 times and you still think Im a civilian.

Tim-What?

Marinette sighs before calling Tiki out and transforming. (She has a different outfit. Period. Her hair is pulled into a high ponytail, held by a red ribbon. It has a completely black mask, her top was sleeveless and was a deep red. She had gloves that stopped at her elbows the same deep red but with black poka-dots. Her pants were completely black with a red belt holding her yoyo. Her outfit was finished with red combat boots with black soles.) Everyone is silent as they taken in her outfit.

Damian-God your so beautiful.

Marinette-Aw Dove

Que a sweet kiss where Jason gags jokingly before Tim flips out about her being Ladybug. Marinette jokingly says that he didnt react that way to her being MDC.

Tim-what?

Dick-This time your oulling my leg.

Marinette-You didnt know? I was always giving you guys family discounts.

Tim-Your MDC...my favorite fashion designer is my future sister-in-law. Thats why your commissions always seemed cheaper than others. Im chalant right now.

This causes Dick to burst out laughing.

Dick-Really becuase Im whelmed!

Bruce smiles slightly remembering when his eldest would use to his 'Unwords' all the time.

That night Marinette patrols with them and Gotham gains a new hero LadyBird. With a little shove from Damian and begging from Tim, Marinette begins to grow MDC even more by partnering with Wayne Enterprises. Marinette and Damian are the power couple of the school, they have majority of their classes together both being in AP and Honors classes. As the school president Marinette is notified that during the last quarter of second semester a French class is doing an exchange program at Gotham Academy.

Her and Jon have to escort them around the school the first week. Marinette argues a bit at first.

Mari-I understand that it is important but Jon and I are still heavily working on Prom, Senior's Last Peprally, Senior Awards, Senior vs Freshman Football, Prom King and Queen vote and The Senior trip.

Jon-Mari is right is there anyway we could pick someone else to show them around. There are a few other people in student council that speak French.

They both convince the Principal to allow the Secretary of the Student Council, Candy St.Cloud, to show them around. Marinette, Jon and Damian avoid them, none of Marinette's old class knows Marinette is there until votes for Prom King and Queen pops up and Marinette's name is on the ballet.

Lila bursts into tears claiming her Dami promised her she'd be on the ballet since he goes to that school. They all try to hunt her down and give her shit for booting Lila off. However majority of Gotham academy has noticed their attitude towards Gotham's Goddess and everyone makes sure Marinette is unreachable.

They pretty much only see glimpses of her until Senior's Last Peprally when she and Damian are announced Prom King and Queen. Their boos are covered up by the school's cheers. Marinette and Damian share a quick kiss which causes more cheers as the teachers roll their eyes calling out Pda. Then both her and Jon announce whats going to be happening at the peprally.

At the end of it all the seniors get together for one last class photo in the front is Jon Marinette and Damian. Damian and Marinette are wearing the sashes and crowns and Marinette is in the middle of them. Bustier's class is upset they cant be a part of the picture because they arent actually seniors at the school. The next night is Senior awards the class doesnt go but the trio does.

Marinette and Damian get best couple.

Damian gets the award for best grades.

Jon gets the award for most likely to secede in life.

That night all three are on the news and trending on Twitter when they go out to celebrate at Bat Burger, videos and pictures are posted off Marinette and Jon dying of laughter as Damian cuts his burger with a knife and fork. At the hotel Lila is crying claiming that Damian is cheating in her with Marinette. The class continuously message Marinette even when they get a response saying that the person is not Marinette amd that they've had the number for two months.

The next day at lunch they confront Marinette, they followed Jon to the room the Student council eat lunch in. Que them berating Marinette infront of everyone including the teachers. Marinette just rolls her eyes not wanting to give them the time of day.

Alya-I cant believe you tricked Lila's boyfriend into dating a bully like you!

This causes Jon to launch to her defense, he steps in front of Marinette glaring at the class.

Jon-Lila's boyfriend?? You mean Damian, so Lila was dating Damian first?

Lila-Yes! And Marinette purposely seduced him!

Jon-Really tell me when did you firat meet Damian?

Lila-oh he was so sweet! It was when we were 6 and we met at a gala here in Gotham! A older women was being incredibly mean to me and he stood up for me telling me that he'd have his dad kick her out. We were always meeting up over the summer and started dating at the beginning of senior year!

Jon-Oh so you know Arabic?

Lila-What?

Jon smirking-Well Damian didnt learn English until he was 8, his first language is English. Also you couldn't possibly have met Damian here when he was 6 because Damian didn't come to Gotham until he was 10. When his dad was informed that he had a son. On top of that Damian spends every summer with his family and closest friends. Actually he usually spends a few weeks on my family's farm, this summer he didnt because he went to Paris with Marinette. Also at the beginning of senior year? St. Cloud, when did Damian ask Marinette out.

St. Cloud- Beginning of the summer at Mr. Wayne's first charity gala of the summer, he asked her while they were dancing. It was really cute and Marinette looked amazing in her MDC dress!

Mari-Thank you St. Cloud, I could give you her number if you'd like a dress

Lila runs away embarrassed the class starring at Jon and Marinette in shock.

Alya-who-who do you think you are?!

Mari-Alya do you really not recognize your idols son?

Marinette is disappointed as she introduces them to Jon Kent, after that the teacher finally forces the French class out, while also telling them how kuch trouble they'll be in.

The class starts trying to get on Marinette's good side for the rest of the year but she ignores them. Prom comes and goes and when its finally time for graduation Damian is valedictorian. He gives a fairly inspirational speech and at the end he smirks finishing it with.

Dami-And lastly I would like to thank my eldest brother, without him Id never be able to give this sappy inspirational speech, he is really good at them.

When they throw their caps in the air Damian finds Marinette and dips her pulling her into a deep kiss.

That night while they are all celebrating at the Wayne Mansion Marinette finally lets go of Paris, she decides that her place is in Gotham with Damian.

Lets do a time skip!

Marinette is the top name in Fashion, Damian is Co-Ceo of Wayne enterprises with Tim. They are both married and living in Marinette's penthouse together with Margaery, I am to emotionally invested to kill off her or Alfred even if it is do to age. They visit the mansion almost every day, and family dinners are common.

Jon started going out with St. Cloud and are engaged, he has also taken up the mantle of Superman.

Damian has taken up the mantle of Batman with his Robin, Johnn'i Thomas Grayson-Wayne, Richard and Koriand'r's second child that did not inherit his mothers powers, and his partner Ladybird. That is until Marinette discovers she is pregnant. She surprises the family while they are getting their family portrait redone, with only Kori and the photographer knowing.

All the girls are in chairs with the boys behind them. Seating goes.

Babs, Kate, Selina, Marinette, Kori, Stephanie, and Cass. For a few of the pictures Marinette holds up a sign saying, "Another Wayne is on the way!" Then they hide the sign so they have a regular family portrait.

A few days later when the entire family is gathered to see the photos they are surprised when Bruce stars at them in shock. Alfred and Margaery merly smile offering congratulations, everyone is confused until Bruce turns the picture around.

Damian is looking at the pictures in shock until he jumps up and picks up Marinette spinning her around. Soon everyone is screaming and cheering offering congratulations. While Damian and Marinette hold each other close crying softly.

Mari-Your gonna be a Daddy Dove.

Damian-I love you so much Marinette. So much.

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floralkittygambler · 4 years ago

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HuskerDust - More Toxic Than You Think [LONG]

This is the rough version of a deeper and more complex subject I want to ‘decorate’ with more ‘screencaps’. DISCLAIMER: This is allegedly controversial and led to me getting literal death threats and an ED triggered. Ive about heard a lot of people’s shit on this so dont try it. I’m speaking from personal experiences too - experiences I really fuckin dont wanna be sharin yet they kinda validate my points. I want people to be aware of the damaging image from someone who can speak from experience without attracting dickheads or people twisting things. Again, I aint particularly comfortable sharing this so yeah- Be courteous- TW AHEAD - ALSO LONG ASS READ. DNI STANS OR ANTIS. May tag a few folks, may not. HuskerDust is an extremely popular ship in the community however there’s glaringly obvious flaws in this one-sided relationship that both the fans and even the team fail to see. Neglecting the dangerous real world implications this ship [as well as many others] present to it’s audience - especially the more influenced of the audience, most who are children.

Angel flirts with all the male cast however one who catches his eye the most is Husk. Now I want to point out a few things [of many... obviously]; Angel is instantly starry eyed upon seeing Husk, likewise he actually started off with a ‘Hey~’ instead of something sexual. However he quickly ruins this after Husk tells him to go fuck himself [defined by: “ go fuck yourselfphrase of fuckVULGAR SLANGan exclamation expressing anger or contempt for, or rejection of, someone.” ie, he rejected instantly] by responding with an offer to allow Husk to essentially watch him masterbate. Alongside this, he cradles his face. Husk pulls away and seems to pull a face to express rage/disgust or growling imagery alongside COMPLETELY withdrawing his body away from Angel as Angel stares with goo-goo eyes. Firstly, Angel loves animals - perhaps it’s Husk appearing cute that adds to this, however Im not going to address animal imagery just yet. Secondly, Angel isn’t really portrayed to respect other’s boundaries BUT he does respect... Alastor’s. Al declines the blowjob to which Angel shrugs and doesn’t push this matter any further. With Husk, he’s pretty harshly told to piss off yet he makes quite and explicitly sexual remark, alongside invading his personal space and touching a man clearly disinterested and pulling away. From the initial rejection, it then becomes sexual harassment. I also want to add that Husk comes with [some] perks in his feline form. And if my name didnt make it obvious, I work with and live with cats on a daily. Briefly, I have been educated in how to understand cat’s language in various individual cat as well as how to handle and work with them. Cats are often drawn towards me and Ive been successful with various types of cats. My most recent being a cat I’ve dubbed as Big - Big was abandoned quite young and has lived most his life on the streets [where I live is high in crime and drug rings, so you can imagine how strays are treated] leading to him being extremely fearful and hating people, hissing and fleeing just seeing people. I took time out last summer to finally give befriending him a shot. It’s taken just under a year of hard work and now he visits every day for his mush [wet food] and kisses, responds to his name and runs up to me in delight. Ive even taught him a phrase to signal that I dont want him or the other cat’s to fight [keeps them all safe and aids them becoming acquainted under supervision - something that’s been working surprisingly well]. I apologise in advance as this is not going to be the first instance of this sort of thing but they are relevant. Trying my best to keep it as brief. For Husk, I will be using a mix of cat and human characteristics to break down his reactions. In this first interaction, he turns his body away in a way to suggest caution, wariness and disinterest. In fact, much of his general body language is that of a man deeply closed off from connections - for starters, he folds his arms quick a bit which suggests lack of openness, shutting off and defensiveness *usually*. Likewise, when touched, he slightly jumps and tenses before pulling back in aggression with flattered ears - a sign cats give to display extreme hostility in a situation. It’s NEVER a good thing but then again, neither is crossing someone’s boundaries. It’s even stated that Husk hates Angel’s advances and wishes for nothing to do with him - the same dislike of sexual advances that Al dislikes in Angel. The ending as they all walk inside, Angel turns to Husk, winking and blowing a kiss his way despite the clear rejection earlier. In fact, Husk once again grows tense and is even irked by such a gesture. This won’t be the last mention of Angel totally disregarding how Husk feels - something that rubs off onto the fans AND the team themselves. And it’s... *concerning*, to phrase it lightly. Angel so far is the most persistent towards the most resistant, and in my post on RadioDust I have already established [briefly] on how Angel seems to chase unavailable men. The more unavailable, the more tempting. The one that got away, mentality. It’s not healthy. And I’m surprised so few have acknowledged this. Taking a break from what we’ve seen in the Pilot, let’s establish some facts about the pair. Angel died in 1947 in his 30s [some posts specify 34-35], putting his birth year around 1911-12ish. Husk died in the 70s IN his 70s [again, nothing is truly specified, so for both we’ll go with 75 - the same number in his IG username] that puts birth year roughly 1900′s. Now an age gap between two adults of 11 - 12 years difference is actually reasonable and can work, depending on circumstance and whether theres a balance in power or not. But when we account for their life experiences and death ages, it’s something else entirely. Angel died young. Not only that but his mind seems more stuck in his raunchy teens than of an adult. And even THEN, he wouldnt be one to necessarily settle down [by which I mean in life, not romance]. He’s extremely emotionally stunted and his selfishness and wanting his own way come off very spoilt [when Husk is pissed off about the cat costume, Angel gets moody because he’s used to compliments AND is dressing to impress Husk. When Husk wanted the money he was rightfully owed, Angel threw a fit for ages until starting to earn it back - even though he owed Husk a drink, which I’ll be coming back to, Husk still wanted the money in the end perhaps hinting to only accepting a freebie as it’s on offer as well as Angel being overly persistent. He even dumps his pig onto Husk to look after, while theres no issue in pet sitting, Angel said Husk ‘owed’ him due to missing the show yet when HE owed Husk, he threw a fit.]. Angel’s life style is wildly chaotic in life AND death, and even though we all know he’s most likely going to be redeemed, he still lacks a lot of experiences in life. He lacks maturity. On the other hand, Husk’s been through his own share of chaos and heartbreak. Difference is, he’s had a life time of experience. He doesn’t act immature in a childish sense. He truly behaves like a downtrodden old man. He’s had his days and would feel more secure settling down in a more peaceful environment with fun yet much needed calm. A better way to handle his need for risk. Age gaps in adults that are large [75 - 35 = 40 years!] are far less likely to work for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is the difference in life stages - that difference in mentality and experiences plays such an impacting role on compatibility. Often their goals and energies are polar opposites and their common grounds minimal. There’s also the looming concern of power dynamics. Whilst it’s usually the older figure that’s holds the power advantage, in this case it’s a little bit more complicated. I’d argue that it’s possibly Angel with the higher power. This rarely works irl but it’s POSSIBLE. Look at Hugh Heffner and his last partner before his death. I believe she was around 22. However there’s many common grounds, immediate attraction, and similar goals. Though incorrect, Heffner does give off a pimp-like vibe (he’s not but you get what I’m implying with mothlike imagery). Husk does not strike me as that type. It would definitely cheapen his character. In terms of interests, the main thing they have in common is that they like to drink. A bad habit, especially when one is an alcoholic. Both are also rather lazy except for certain circumstances [Husk will go out of his way to help HOWEVER he’s obliged to under Al, the only one he’s seen to willingly help and bond with/be seen with is Niffty. Angel is when there’s a fight, chaos, drama or any sex work]. Both are also rather snarky and vulgar. In terms of love, both suffer intimacy issues. On Husk, it’s ‘losing the ability to love a long time ago’ meaning he was likely cheated on or at least had a failed relationship. If he was ever ready for a new start, he’d definitely want something stable yet rewarding. For now, he needs a LOT of work - work he is not yet willing to put in, nor does he have a reason to. Angel doesnt want to commit because he’s extremely selfish as well as in an already abusive ‘relationship’ already. Sex work is sometimes VERY taxing on the mental health due to some of the folk you service. He’s seen the worst in many and just enjoys the pay and fuck. IF Husk was cheated on, then it’d make a lot of sense if a sex worker wouldn’t be his flavour, it would just serve as a reminder. Not only this, but Angel HIMSELF actively participates in cheating. Not with Val... but with *Travis*. BOTH know Travis is married (I’d be feckin worried if Trav didnt-) yet they still choose to cheat anyways, regardless of the pain it could cause. Angel even mocks this by sending greetings to Trav’s wife. Honestly this... Reminds me a LOT of Stolas - a main character who sexually harasses another character clearly not interested/comfortable, participates in cheating and we’re supposed to root for them (and before anyone gets offended, I do have more to say on Angel’s behalf so please be patient). Either way, it’s very toxic and concerning. Even if Husk wasn’t cheated on, I dont think many would feel exactly secure after having such a rough past with love, diving into a relationship with someone who’s openly participated in multiple affairs. And that’s no shitting on sex workers either, it’s just a point that some would feel uncomfortable with the idea of being with ANYONE (regardless of their work) having actively and KNOWINGLY took part in having an affair previously - especially multiple. Husk’s in an emotionally fragile place and needs more security. We’ve already established Husk heavily dislikes Angel’s advances. In fact, his responses to Angel are similar to his responses to... Al! His body language is VERY test and closed off to even Al, who’s most likely knew him for a very long time. If even Al gets this treatment (whilst also disrespecting his boundaries) then it’ll be the same with Angel (both force Husk into their lives and schemes, both disregard his boundaries). And he’s shown to STILL go out his way to help both however this is most likely tied to an unspoken ‘debt’ he owes Alastor. Plus he’s been mentioned behind the scenes to be a secret softie and protective grandpa type. But this animosity is very reflective of how Loona behaves and responds to Blitzo as well as how both Loona AND Husk (One being a ‘lowly servant’, the other being a literal old MAN) as pets - even the fans - just because of their forms. But this isnt the first of the disrespect they receive. Now we delve deeper Both are addicts of some kind (Husk - drinking, gambling. Angel - Drugs, possibly sex). Not a good mix at all romantically. Addicts often and unintentionally feed their addictions to each other as well as can increase likelihood of relapsing which even a recovered addict can slip back into. When times get tough (a natural occurrence) both are likely to suffer with their addictions. Interestingly, they can become addicted and dependent on one another, which is genuinely unhealthy for a mindset anyways, regardless whether addiction existed prior or not. Addiction only increases these chances. Angel likes confidence in a man (confirmed on Patreon). Yet, Husk is even confirmed in streams to be deeply troubled and insecure. One thing he hates is his demon form, something that we’ll touch on shortly. Angel loves quality food ESPECIALLY of Italian origin whilst Husk is willing to eat the shit they give you in bars (admittedly that was painful to type as someone who grew up around pubs - either way it’s not exactly high quality or gourmet is what I’m saying). Interestingly, in some character references of Angel, it’s stated that he hates rejection. Hates. That’s a VERY strong word. This could explain but not justify why he’s persistent with Husk (similar to NiceGuys believing you’re playing ‘hard to get’ - further illuding to an immature and toxic mindset) though it interestingly doesn’t apply with Alastor. Odd. There’s a counterpoint to symbolism in art. A very VALID counterarguement... If it suited Viv’s style. During Media Studies, Business, Design and Art, hell fucking Silent Hill! - I’ve been educated on effective symbolism as well as artistic trademarks (the most famous that most should know is Alfred Hitchcock!). Hitchcock often appeared in all his films, usually as a sidefacing silhouette, trading marking his films with his very PRESENCE. Viv’s seems to revolve around hearts. I mention this because an IG account made the point that hearts were to symbolise anyone connected with Angel’s story and love life (Valentino’s business and shades/collar, heart behind Angel’s head, Heart tattoo on Cherri’s right shoulder, hearts for Husk’s paws, eyebrow marks above natural brows, wings, and nose as well as most of the playing cards). Thing is, there’s hearts EVERYWHERE in all of Viv’s works and such symbology of Angel and hearts is weakened if it connects to the villains/abusers as well - taking away the positivity in a love symbol. Viv’s used hearts in her font, backgrounds, in characters ears, in all her series just generalised, Blitzo’s forehead, background characters, again the cards, Travis’s eyes, Millie’s right shoulder in the SAME place as Cherris. Even Vaggie had a heart tattoo on the shoulder in some christmas themed artwork (on her left). Heart’s is just something Viv seems to brand herself with. And that’s fine though I feel she could do with cutting it down slightly. One thing to early note on the cards (again, this’ll creep up later and my name should tell you why), most are heart suits and usually either a face card (J, Q, K), Joker, ace or 2s. Face cards/Jokers for more details close up (look at the signing artwork) and the rest are just easier to animate, though a little bit of a peeve to someone into their cards as well as the massive overuse of red in Hazbin overall. It’s extremely unlikely to be symbolic. If they change it to be so, then it’s... Weakened. As I’ve mentioned earlier, Silent Hill is an example of extremely clever symbolism in more darker media (more so, SH is considered a ‘hell’ of sorts and does feature religious iconography WITHOUT causing offence. A great example of how to portray this type of thing - they even mix humour in if you consider some of the sneaky references, dialogues and odd UFO/dog endings). Discussing Viv’s art further, she drew a gift for her sister (original creator of Husk when he possessed white fur) of Angel playfully dragging a disinterested and annoyed Husk (I believe this was still around the time SpiderMoth was canon). The newish art tends to have Angel putting a holly crown on him or sitting on his knees, Husk seeming too lazy to really do anything about it. Very nonchalant. I also want to include some interesting stream arts here and later to further highlight their bond. A fan asked Viv in a stream to draw them “actually getting along” - this wording implying that the fan is aware of Husk not enjoying Angel’s company. So Viv did, with an extra doodle of Husk being one of the ‘canadian people’ from South Park who sing “Im not your friend”. The art alone shows Husk’s absolute discomfort, even the extra thing Viv added w/o request. As they’re her characters and the fan asked for what they’d look like getting along, to show this discomfort goes to show the dynamic once planned. Husk just isnt a fan of Angel, especially when he’s being sexual and touchy. It can be great for small comedic parts, however both the team AND fans have now crossed this over to really creepy and triggering realms in their ships. It’s creepy and doesnt look good on Angel (who they actively root for) nor the gay community (more on that).

[Yes Ive already pointed out the comedic side of this ^ but it doesnt bode well considering the other points and issues that arise] There’s also a request for drag angel flirting with drunk husk. Personally thats a lil creepy to specify one of the two being intoxicated and thus not able to truly consent. If Angel is willing to flirt with someone in that state, it doesnt mean he would fuck them, but it does feel the fan was thinking that’s the case. In all truth, I think Angel WOULD flirt with those incapable of consent purely to swindle or pickpocket. I’d like to think [and HOPE considering his own abuse by Val] that he’d never take it further. And I hope Viv, the team and the fans see how incredibly creepy that thought is. I’ll give benefit of the doubt though it is still a concern. Either way, Angel appears... Annoyed? Husk is completely turned away and seems incredibly grouchy and confused. This shows yet more rejection on his behalf as well as Angel’s response to being rejected, which highlights his immaturity towards it. Remember, he’s USED TO and EXPECTS everyone to want him (even saying this in the Pilot). Hell, there’s even a Rich Vaggie request where Viv again randomly includes Husk. This time, he’s faced towards her and relaxed, though seems unimpressed and overall disinterested in this type of behaviour. Behaviour and interests of Angel [Celeb status and rich appearance due to Val, despite getting very little of the cut and the vanity, as well as Husk just not giving a shit about this sort of peacock display]. (Also wanted to note in Viv’s #3 stream 1:50:50, Faust makes out that Husk is a ‘dirty, creepy old man’ as well as him constantly threatening violence towards Angel. I dont see him as *creepy* in this context - as it implies perversion that he blatantly lacks fortunately - though it’s very telling of how Husk feels and again shows this toxic relationship).

/Angel’s Type: First off, daddy issues. He has them. Now let’s look at ‘daddy’. Henroin is shorter than Angel, dark fur, grumpy, old, wears only a hat and tie, big brows... Sounds familiar? Ok, look at his brother Arackniss. Similar to Henroin, dark, short, grouchy, bullied by and bullies Angel, is adverse to Angel and overall possess a bad relationship. Ok.... His main client, Travis! Short, dark fur, moody, Only wears hat and tie, drinker (shown in stream as request so take drinking with a pinch), similar face to- Is no one else seeing this trait? Angel seems to go for these shorter than him grouchier men who either want him for sex or hate his presence. Men who are like his dad and brother. All of these guys are far too similar, and we’ve got enough men in suits, bowties and sharp teeth in this show to boot as it is- The psychology of this type of attachment is rooted in a bad familial relationship alongside the subconscious desire to repair or compensate for it. Unknowningly the person will keep seeking out this sort of guy who isnt good for them to fix this internal issue. The resolution is to NOT go for these types. It’s also connected to intimacy fears, by going for those you know arent good for you/right for you/interested in you is often the manifestation of these issues. Pair them with daddy issues and it’s a disaster! There is science to back this up. Valentino is interestingly the opposite yet still toxic issues arise. Why? Because he’s going from one extreme to the other but with the same mindset. Neither of these men or types for MANY reasons are right for him. And visa versa. Seeing a pattern? ~~~~

Angel w Husk? I mentioned before that Husk hates his demon form. If you’re an old man, a gambler, some Vegas bloke and have this grouchier disposition, why the fuck would you want to look like an oversized pet? Exactly. Angel however adores his own aside from the feet. Now I find it strange how the guy we’re rooting for just so happens to like his own form which was intended for punishment. But that’s not todays post. I said earlier that Angel is heavily fixated on Husk’s appearance. Especially the feline aspects (calling him Husky and Kitty - petnames he hates that also treat him again more like a pet than a man -, dressing as a ‘sexy cat’ to appeal to him which can come off as more mockery. This is even backed up by fans who seem to think an old guy’s gonna act like some school girl anime trope?). All of this completely disregards and disrespects Husk’s feelings and perspectives. Something the fans and team take part in actively. Angel - whether you want to hear this or not - is SELFISH. When Husk ‘owed’ him for missing the show (babysitting Fat Nuggets), Husk begrudgingly fulfils this. The second Angel owed Husk for stealing drinks, Angel threw a hissy fit. The silent treatment, going to other bars and posting about it whilst complaining (again focusing on Husk being ‘cute’). Trying to cop out of it by buying Husk a smoothie (though it looked like a date, lets be real, do you REALLY have to bribe someone to date and be around you? No) and even then he still had to owe the money which was more of Husk’s concern. Yes he did in the end and more money than needed, hence the returning of the extra cash, but that is no excuse for the childish behaviour prior. He’s much too accustomed to being adored and pampered and getting his own way that he cant grasp when people arent a fan or willing to pamper him. If they make them a ship, all it does it make Angel completely into a shitty Gary-Stu that everyone loves and pities for his suffering, rather than teach him to grow, earn his redemption and confronting his own toxicity. Let me make this extremely clear: ANGEL DOES NOT DESERVE ABUSE OR RAPE. But when he starts behaving as shitty, he’s hard to root for. Remember, he’s sexually harassing all these guys, with Husk getting the brunt of it. But it’s treated as a joke for them and only taken seriously for Angel. Val abuses all of his employees. He abuses VOX and even THAT was mocked by fans and staff. It’s... It’s frankly gross. In every interaction Husk has with Angel, his body language is closed off, tense, uncomfortable, turned away and hostile - look at the IG. He wont even allow Angel to touch him. Compare this to Niffty, who he’s fine with taking pictures with and letting her hang around and touch him. Body language is relaxed (relaxed shoulders, open body language) and he doesnt look hostile at all. What does Angel do? Always tries to get close to Husk (such as sitting as close as possible during Poker) and forces both his OWN hobbies onto Husk (ones that Husk shows a strong disinterest in) and Husk’s hobbies (Poker). It’s very FORCED and not natural. Going back to immaturity, he blames Husk and his cards for being shit at the game. They’re always bickering, insulting, fighting in the comments but fans only see this as a ‘cute couple fight’ or Husk being ‘tsundere’.Tsundere. An anime trope often used in young characters. Irl tsundere is NOT this dramatised. The tsundere you see in anime, apply that irl and you get the recipe for the most toxic, petty and immature relationship going. You get constant fights, unease, not feeling loved/appreciated, little trust - the list goes on. Plus an old bloke really isnt going to indulge in tsundere traits. It’s childish. After his history with love, I doubt he’d be up for games and messing about. For something meaningful, he’d just want open honesty. Their ‘relationship’ feels like it’s written by horny kids attempting a fanfic after being inspired by 50 shades and twilight (both show toxic relationshiiiiiips~). The worst is that these are adult writers trying to portray some realistic yet sensitive topics. This is just ill fuckin taste. Even the warnings in Helluva’s ‘Horny Demons’ leaves a bad taste when the fans are thinking Stolas is the best dad despite both parents ruining Octavia’s mental health. Despite the next day after that episode aired Stolas starts flirting with Blitzo again on IG. Despite Blitzo being clearly uncomfortable and sexually harassed and even co-herced into sex (VERY UNHEALTHY MESSAGES HERE). Viv herself has been in bad relationships so how the fuck she’s blind to this and even borderline fetishizing this sort of behaviour that everyone seems to play off as ‘Awwww cute tsundere <3 BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIENDS’ is abhorrent. I’ll go into this more later on how this really just... It treats male sexual harassment and assault as a fucking joke- Angel’s constant unwarranted flirting is no different from the freaks on IG that send dick pics to underage kids and random women in their dms and fathom that they’re ‘nice’ and have a ‘chance’. Wanna know the creepiest? The candid photo of Husk on Angel’s wall. Something Husk seems horrified about. It’s fangirlish and teenager like at BEST, and obsessive stalker at worst. He’s NOT respecting Husk’s boundaries or feelings. That’s still up despite Husk’s reaction. He still wore the costume despite Husk’s feelings. Angel’s thinking with his dick and it’s such a fucked up message that everyone seems to support just because ‘its FICTION. Theyre in HELL.Theyre BAD people.’ Yeah? Well look at how that’s effecting and warping reality and perspective. It’s glamourising it. Fetishsizing stalking and making it cute. Yer have celebrity or boyband or whatever youre a fan of pics on your wall. NOT your crush. NOT someone who clearly isnt interested or happy with this. If someone who kept commenting on your pictures “sexy” suddenly had a picture of you on their wall, what would YOU think? How would YOU FEEL? Because myself and my own sisters have been in VERY fucking similar situations and it’s traumatic. His paw is even attempting the lens - Angel is crossing his boundaries and not getting the message that Husk doesnt want this. He’s forcing himself onto Husk. Yknow... VAL forced himself on Angel and it ended up in numerous rapes. Angel hasnt raped Husk, but if he wont take no. If he wont respect boundaries. If he only wants Husk to do what he wants but throws a fit when he owes husk - he’s picking up on Val’s bad habits more and more. How are so few - even the very team creating this - not seeing how disgusting this is? Are we only supposed to give a shit if Angels hurt? If so, the message isnt so much of how despicable Val is but how awful it is to upset Angel. Fans constantly blame Husk for being grumpy, annoyed at or rejecting Angel. Look at this real world implication. Not only that but Angel being gay just reinforces one of the worlds most disgusting and inaccurate stereotype of gay men being sexual predators and forcing men to have sex whether theyre comfortable or not. MOST gay men arent like this, and those who are its just because THEYRE shitty people (Jeffree fucking Starr, but look how people ‘stan’ his fuckin behaviour). Val is rubbing off on Angel as much as fiction has a MASSIVE impact on reality - whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Like Val, hes pushing past boundaries, he’s selfish, hes more into visuals than anything else. It’s one sided, superficial and theres no click. No connection. Be in this situation yourself and seeing this sorta shit becomes second nature to stay alive. Angel even says that most of hells residents are ‘ugly freaks’ yet finds Husk cute. It’s all LOOKS. Who else likes appearances alone? Val. I know this will trigger and upset fans, Ive been told to fucking die and have my ED triggered when I mentioned it before. But accept that all of them have flaws. Everyone irl have flaws. But there’s flaws and then theres a fuckin crime. If Husk was a woman, more people would see the flaw, but even then... Look at many romance movies - not all but many go for opposites attract (science proves this inaccurate irl), stalking, or even sexual harassments and assualts but she falls for him and they end up together. That aint love thats Stockholm with extra steps. Think you’re triggered and upset? Go through this shit - have a history with it happening - and then see some show you love and a comfort character get treated the exact same and everyone JUSTIFIES it, including the team themselves. It’s NOT cute. Part 2 to the previous point: Both do share common interests, but it’s very unhealthy such as excessive drinking, both being addicts and being rather lazy, etc. Otherwise the common ground just isnt good. They’re opposites that really dont compliment each other. (Not a valid point here but I find it interesting how Angel loves aquariums and Husk can fly too). Viv’s writing is mediocre at best (but with glowing potential - a diamond in the rough - hence why it’s so frustrating) but Husk’s writing is the laziest. According to Viv he’s (paraphrased) “easiest to write... doesnt care about anything, almost always grumpy leading to similar reactions to everything”. His voice and alcoholism even has a lot of inspiration from Rick Sanchez. As I said with Angel in the RadioDust post, it’s almost like the addictions are seen as a joke. A running gag is fine if you can play it off well and it’s not about something so serious EVEN MORE SO when the series is about how damaging the addictions are and redemption. Why is this end goal being ignored unless it’s about Angel himself? That’s not just favouritism or bias, that’s also heavily self indulgent and a backwards ass message. Right now, Hazbin and Helluva have this ugly fixation on sex and ships. VIV has a fixation on ‘horny demons’. Her main characters are incredibly sexual bar Al (dont even say Husk, Niffty, Charlie or Vaggie or even loona and Moxxie are even on par with the focus and treatment Val, Angel, Blitz and Stolas are given). It’s very fixated and concerning. Its starting to feel like it’s about to divulge into hentai than a legit series with even a hint of the plot or a message. It reminds me of Family Guy trying to be BoJack. It’s starting to remind me of fucking Sausage Party and the final orgy. Sex and swears makes it inappropriate for kids but that doesnt make it adult or mature, and this is coming from someone who swears more than a fucking sailor whos stubbed his bare pinky toe on a fucking crate corner. Constant swears arent funny or artful in the slightest when it’s over done. It’s just... childish adult humour. We cant be expected to want to root for any of them at this rate- All A24 and other companies are seeing is big cash and easily manipulated child audiences (for easy money). They KNOW it can be better but theyd rather be lazy as they’ll profit big either way. This is going to end up like YanSim and YanDev. Amazing potential, shit writing with a leader too stubborn to accept and act on criticism, seeing it as hate. At this point, Husk isnt a deeply troubled man with vices and interests. He’s just fuck candy and romantic end goal for Angel. To compliment and complete him. Just another accessory to the Angel Show. Vivs sister who made Husk even loves Angel so it’ll only serve to further this already toxic narrative. The ship doesnt look or feel right. There’s too much established now to see the dynamics and favouritism in the creators. Self indulgence. You cant play favourites when you do this sort of thing professionally. The audience can see it and it turns people away. Ask any nonHaz/Helluva fan what they think and it’s... Well, average. Another thing is everyone went full hype on Frozen focusing on something other than romance as a form of love. But then go back to “Ok now everyone reenact the final scenes of Sausage Party” afterwards. Not everything is sex and romance, and it really is starting to feel Viv and the fans are focused on that like Incels focusing on ‘chad’. It’s creepy. Helping with food, telling someone self conscious on their weight that they’re not fat, not taking more money than someone owes, even helping out with a pet - that’s something that a good friend would do. In fact, Husk even laughs at the goofy Angel cutout and it being destroyed. It doesnt instantly equate to wanting to fuck. The fact that the fans and even some of the team seem borderline horny is... Completely destroying this show, it’s message and everything about it. Viv said ships were hardly the focus in her stream but look at it now. Look at what Viv focuses on now. It’s just fanservice shit. Nothing more. Self indulgence shit, look at the team making rape into a fetish or shipping themselves publicly with the characters on the public IGs. It’s like watching children run a business and it’s painful because the entire series is suffering when it could be amazing. Friendship should be more normalised as a valuable type of relationship just as much as love or family are. I’ll also add that Husk adding after the show “Oh fuck... Is this what I missed? Shit.” is ooc like the ‘date’ (that was compensation for stolen drinks, like a tamer version of Blitzo fucking Stolas for the grimoire). It contradicts that he slept it off rather than an attempt at staying awake, as well as calling it a “god damn peepshow” implying a repulsion to the peverse tendencies. The constantly commenting, following and posting Angel related pics makes little sense either from someone who’s blatantly been sexually harassed as well as the clear repulsion of the candid pic on the wall. He outright rejected Angel. What would be realistic are the IGs focusing on learning about the characters, their lives and interests - ALL updating at realistic paces. Old men arent tech savvy usually nor care for social media that much. He’d post drinks, gambling, casinos, life with Niffty and Alastor. Heck maybe a picture of Angel captioned “When will this guy leave me the FUCK alone?”. He even only seems to tag angel, even in the pic that had Charlie and Vaggie [their shared account] or Niffty. Theres a CLEAR bias in the staff room and it’s messy. Look how most the female cast is ignored (Vaggie/Charlie, Velvet who posted a birthday gift to one of the new artists on the merch WHY? Gasu btw, Niffty, Millie only posting twice - heck even Vox and Loona sometimes get neglected. CLEAR. BIAS.) The ships focused on are 1) NOT established canon yet publicly favoured by Viv and the team (Stoliz, HuskerDust, VoxVal - that last pair havent actually got a VA either-), 2) Are TOXIC and theme around abuse or sexual harassment but it’s ‘cute because gae’ - NO. This makes gay people look really bad when they’re not. 3) HD and SL focus on one sided, stalkerish, cop out ‘tsundere’ excused ships to sugar coat the creepiness which only further fuels bigotry, 4) SL has MERCH on it now, so thats also profiting on sexual harassment imagery (again, dont give a shit they arent real - the EFFECTS are. The people who can relate ARE. The people being horridly stereotyped ARE). Thing is, the IGs originally were there to promote ADDICT which started as a fan song anyways despite everyone saying how Viv is stubborn in her ways an uninfluenced by her fans (proof says otherwise) yet shes allowed a fan song to be canon. Theres a focus on forced love for fanservice. The IGs have long outstayed their welcome. The Val account allows glamourisation of the sick shit Val does AND entinses fans to bully as they forget a REAL PERSON runs the fucking account, Val isnt even a scary villain either - hes just a big teen like everyone else - stuck in a teen drama with all this. Pimps are smart. Theyre scary. Theyre masters of manipulati- HOW DO THEY NOT DO THE RESEARCH?! Viv wanted this sense of realism and dealing with sensitive topics in one of the worst executed ways Ive ever seen- It’s toxic. It’s dangerous. These are shit messages and your fans display that when they think all criticism is ‘hAtE’ and actively bully real people w REAL EXPERIENCES. Telling them to ‘stop pls’ does fuck all because you still promote shit messages straight after. Like with Stolas to Blitz in a IG story a day after Ep 2. Classy. Fanservice seems desperate to keep these fans (rather than market correctly... Just like YanDev) and it leads to fans feeling like they have the audacity to steer the series. Poor business with WEAK boundaries. Viv, you lost your series a long time ago. Want it back? LISTEN TO LEGIT CRITICISM. Stop surrounding yourself with yes men. Even my best fucking friend calls me out when Im out of line because a real friend will fucking take the chance of hurting your feelings if it means helping you in the long run and grow. Mick joked about the inside of Husk’s ears matching Angels coat, that the ears are cat’s most sensitive and vulnerable parts. 1) Cats vulnerable part is their tummy - hence why you need their trust first (alternatively yer get the odd cat that has full confidence they cat hurt you a lot faster than you can tickle them - I own one), 2) Its weird that Viv doesnt know this considering how many cats she has - its important to learn the language of those you love to give them your full understanding and a great bond 3) This romanticises sexual harassment more than it already is in the media (remember, theres women out there still murdered for saying no!) as well as reinforces the stereotypes of gay men forcing non-interested men into sex (again, a very toxic and unrealistic trope - a dangerous one thats led to gays being murdered!). And the ears design is unnecessarily overly complex considering those fuckin wings he supports. If the design adds nothing to the character but aesthetic, then it can go on the chopping block. Rules for simple animation. Besides from Angel sharing the same tooth as Val (who knows if that was added after he started working for Val as branding?) you could use this argument to say Pent or Al are soulmates for Angel because of having striped suits, or sharp teeth - no, it was intended as a joke that Viv fueled to irresponsibly because it’s not the first time she’s dodged publicly addressing something (something youll NEED to get used to in a big company), and she’s publicly dodged shit after this too so Im not putting faith in her until she can act professionally as the job requires. Likewise, professionals should consider what and how they joke as they’re presenting an image of a company/business. And people WILL eat that shit up face value regardless. In her stream #2, a fan requests for art of flustered angel and smug husk to fuel their ship. at 2:10:21, she does so. She’s also done this for Baxter x Niffty and Cherri x Tom. As a professional, you really should be avoiding this sort of thing in the name of fanservice. I get it, fanservice = financial gain. But it also results in empty meaning. It’s a shell of what the passion project once was, hence why you make the ENTIRE skeleton before involving others. The team help construct the muscles, tendons and organs. The public - moreso critics and the more experienced in those fields help sew the skin. Then you bring it to life, the fans become like blood. They aid to keep it alive. Even Ash and Mick mention Husk being ‘tsundere’. Im had most my piece about it earlier, however I’ll repeat and add some extras. Tsundere is an exaggerated personality, often used in younger characters. In terms of a relationship, it’s very immature, leads to poor communication and results in a toxic love. Science can back this up as well as the lack of realism. It’s more immature minds/hearts that go to what they interpret as tsundere in hopes of the love life the media portrays. A farce. Y’know what Angel needs? Someone open, honest, open to love and comforting. He doesnt need someone rebuffing and him chasing. It’s nothing more than an immature thrill. Once the love begins, it’s burns out QUICK. It’s far from sustainable or healthy. It’s not what either really need and further show Angel’s fixation on men who subconsciously remind him of his father. It’s not healthy. Another thing is a tsundere actually IS interested but shows it in the most immature and childish means possible. Would a really old bloke actually give a shit to play those sorts of games? No. Not one coming from a place like husk has. It’s painful how lacking in research and experience these people are. Science backs up that opposites solemnly attract also. In fact, they often either repel or only get as far as friendship. Fan and Team Mentality in Brief: Im coming out with my ultimate pet peeve: if you’re going to have one of the MAIN characters be a gambler, do your research. The only background shit is a casino, LOADS of sex references (in Pride? Really?) and drugs. It’s like someone listing what they think is adult and tabboo and naughty. It’s yikes. Cards are almost always aces, 2s or blank. MOST are heart suits (like we need MORE red - we get it, it’s hell. But it’s an immature larvae stage hell). I get 2s and aces being easier to animate, however you have Husks wings, the entire of alastor, angels arms - if youre busting the budget for the menial then bust it to the cards. Theres like ONE spade. The full house isnt a full house (here’s a display of the fans lack of education on the matter as well which serves as a sure sign that they know just as little on any of this as SpindleHorse, they think it’s a sign on him being a card cheat. A card cheat. I aint saying hes not but what I AM saying is poker professionals are some of the most observant people in the world. Especially when money’s involved they’ll ensure youve got your facts right. That wouldnt fly at ALL. But theres more~ fans think Husk spent loaaaads of time staring at angel’s face in the IG poker out of <3 Newsflash. When you play poker you read EVERYONE like a book. Every little twist and twitch of the features. Its not about love. It’s about winning. Its about money. Play enough poker and it’s instinct if you want to actually play decently. Call bluffs. Life aint a fuckin romance.) And playing Poker at a BlackJack table? In a casino? These are all common knowledge and basics if you just research. And this is coming from someone with a history of this. The fans even believed Tipsy Bartender’s ‘Peach Princess Cocktail’ was something Spindlehorse made as a beverage form of Niffty, Angel and even Charlie because of the name. Now, Im not expecting everyone to be a fuckin boozy either, but to not even consider it’s a very real drink does show that many fans are far too young for that 18+ label. Fanart of HD often has Husk being OOC OR being held hostage (often via webs - one even being reblogged by Viv, aint that cute!). Some even have Husk completely intoxicated, which would be rape. Im not sugarcoating it. Because too many are getting the sweet treatment and copying Viv’s ‘dont address and it disappears!’ tactic - A LOT of internet celebs do it. The ship is drawn a lot by the team in the public eye, Viv reblogs it publicly (SL, HD, alongside canon only ships, how curious-). Husk is pan yet doesnt behave as the stereotype. And Id FULLY support this with my fucking SOUL (fun fact: you cant sell a soul. Thats myth to scare people-) if it was done correctly. But the way bisexuals, lesbians, gays and aces are portrayed so stereotypically (even Pan in terms of Val’s sexomania), it’s really REALLY uncomfortly coming across as Husk being pansexual JUST to make him an ‘option’ for Angel. Hell even the hets are given a shite representation. Some art btw has husk tricked into a kiss. Cute, we’re really starting to like blurring consent aint we? Remember, Angel has celeb power in his world. In the real world, he has a following. HE has the power in the ship massively. Hell, fans JUSTIFY Angels behaviour and absolutely rip Husk a new shithole if he fuckin even so as to DARE OPPOSE ANGELS MUCH DESERVED LOVE! - sarcasm because I have to make that shit clear now. Fans dont care about Husks feelings, he wasnt even popular until this ship started to explode. Y’know what would be cool and break stereotypes? An old straight white guy actually accepting his friends sexualities. The pan thing feels really fucking gimicky and exploitive and gross based on the history of all this shit. It feels disingenuine. Representation doesnt come from it just being there. What next? Katie whips on blackface to further show shes a bigoted knobhead whos white and straight? Dont get me wrong, Katie’s an arsehole but theres other means to show this rather than ALL HETS HATE THE BIG GAE. They dont. They really dont. But hey, we’ll show a gay man sexually harass every guy and root for him! NO. Thats fucked up. It makes gays look like the predators theyre not. It’s like the fucking 50s with modern tech - is that the real identity of Vox? Fuckin maybe. WHAT THEY NEED - FUCKING FINALLY, ITS THE END IVE BEEN ON THIS SHIT FOR DAYS WHILST SICK LUCKY ME EH? CAN YER FEEEEEEEL MY TIREDNESS OF FANDOMS AND CREATORS EXCUSING SHITTY THINGS FOR CLOUT, MONEY, FAME AND OTHER DUMB SHIT? IF YOU CANT, THEN WHAT THE FUCK, AND OTHER NEWS: Right. Lets get our main shit. Compatibility between the pair is really low - lower than even the team seems to see. And yer old fart of a Hag here’s gotta use my personal suffering as an example because thats what the cool kids do, right? Their friendship compatibility is high. VERY high. But low for love. HEALTHY love. In terms of convo flow, it only has a river when insults are flying, otherwise Husk actively cuts Angel short or outright annoys him. In reality, someone like Husk would gross out Angel, but the cute cat look can turn that the fuck around - JUST the look. Fans and the team oddly think it’s cute though. Yes, I remember being negged at the bar and thinking “BOY arent my pants flooded like the fuckin planet when the ice caps are melting”. There’s no click. Theres infatuation and lust one sided based on looks. Husk isnt even remotely interested and no means delayed yes apparently. Angel as a rape VICTIM should know better than to blur consent like this. Angel isnt a rapist [for the skim reading raging stans ANGELS NOT A RAPIST, YAAAAAY!] but he sure has a shit grip on when he’s looking like Val when Val forced Angel into a kiss by not accepting rejection. It’s. CREEPY. Its fuckin weird. Husk is literally named after being a shell of his former self, I doubt random sex and forced interest is gonna make him spring to life like bastard Zeberdy from the Magic Pissin Roundabout. Honestly, sexual harassment and addictions are treated the same in this - a joke. A punchline. A gag. Sure makes me fuckin gag. Nah, the more healthier Chaggie relationship (needs work on Charlies damn part - dont let freaky taxidermy men sexually assault your life partner like that) is booooring, lets focus on sexual harassment leading to true love like all the other shitty romcoms shall we? Or sugar coat it with ‘getting to know them better <3′ like Beauty and the Beast. A story, by yours truly: My mom’s mates with this woman. Lets call her M because her name starts with an M. M is just like Angel except slightly older, overweight and disabled - so not everyones cup of tea visually (shes neither here nor there to me imo, not like I hold interest in shaggin her). Like Angel, she fuckin flirts with any ANY man around her. She’ll even touch without consent, rub allllll up and down their backs and bodies, and not leave them alone. She even did this with a few gay men. Shes not a horrible person BUT mom and I are constantly trying to stop her and get through her head how DISGUSTING this treatment is. But nothing gets the message across. Shes ALWAYS talking men and sex and has an on/off fling with this one bloke (dont worry, hes the male M, cheats and does the same as her). Everyone, even women, are uncomfortable with this. Irl it’s desperate and a HUGE repellent. Men are visibly SO uncomfortable. She does it to my father too who is - in case youd forgotten - MARRIED TO HER BEST. FUCKING. FRIEND. My father is not a man of fear (and interestingly, hes one of the real life Huskers I know!) but this woman? *insert Heavy bc why tf not* She scares him. My dad does everything in his damn power to pull away, reject, resist, avoid and cut her off. The only reason hes even nice to her at all is because mom likes her (when M isnt a gross hornbag, shes genuinely a good friend to my mother - much like angel and Cherri). My dad’s strictly banned from insulting her or telling her to fuck off from my mother BECAUSE of her nature with him. Even at her non horny times, he’s even said shes not his flavour. I’ve had numerous accounts like this myself (ask any woman-) but the worst was the guy thinking - THINKING - that Id eventually be his whilst he played up a lot of our similarities up, seemed nice and I actually thought I had a good guy friend (put it this way, Im genuinely scared of men because of guys like this). At this time, there was a character I discovered who looks and behaves SO much like me, and shes married. My simping arse for this fictional BEAUT [Im sorry but Iris is fucking awesome] compared her romantic traits towards Olgerd as something Id do - and this was a STATUS. It wasnt even too him, tagging him, nothing. I was just spamming Iris like the Iris whore I am, and... Yep. Ill be honest and say that God only knows what else I did that made him think I was ready to rip off my clothes and shag him. My post history back then showed Im like this when I find a character I relate to. I also send hearts a lot publicly and to friends to express joy - I get NERVOUS how that’ll be taken now. He tried to pit my ex friend and I against each other for him and even cyberstalked us pretending to be a girl named Raven. My GUT told me this aint no bastard ‘Raven’. The vibes he gave me, and the fact when I kept saying no he took it as a delayed yes (He even said “Ill wait for when youre ready” not “I understand and am happy to still be friends”) gave me literal nightmares of this guy tracking me down and raping me. He’s currently dating that ex friend (I was still willing to be their friend and support them but they said it was hard to keep us separate in her lifes and she didnt want conflict, so I cut it off amicably with her and I fuckin hope he treats her right. I even sensed in my gut she’d like him and he’d like her - even that theyd be good together! But then I found she was 17 and he was 10 years older, that he was cyberstalking and pitting us against each other, that he was secretly an arrogant fuck and that he gives off red flags like her ex’s - but shes passed 18 now and I want to trust her as an adult that she can deal with this. Shes got a good family.) As a kid, Ive been fuckin groped at school in my shitty neighbourhood. One kid even harassed me wanting to know if Id started my periods yet. Hed constantly fondle girls and ‘keg’ them aka yank down their skirts or trousers in public, and 2 years later held a fucking KNIFE to my throat in a classroom with the shittiest substitute teacher, all because I stood up to him (I was not known for my bravery at school so). He was harassing my female friend who suffers from it since as well as her upbringing, bullying her and stealing her stuff. Shes TINY. She was bullied just as bad as I - who was somehow both the school ghost AND pariah somehow- - and I stepped in and told him to cut that shit out before snatching her things back. I told her to ignore the desperate prick. Thats when he took a boxcutter and held it to my throat, threatening me to keep my head down. Now my neighbourhood fucking qualifies as the British ‘hood’ but Id been lucky to avoid this. Ironically, I wondered what this situation would be like a year prior. Im convinced I can fucking foresee bad shit now and with anxiety that aint good. I froze mentally and I just said “Wooow, Im fucking scared- *friends name*, ignore him” and continued my work. I fucking mentally kicked myself for speaking but I genuinely didnt know what to do. Obviously not fucking that. He sat the full TWO HOURS at our table with this knife, jolting forward mockingly and switching who he pointed it at. The knife btw was from that very room as it was graphics and art. Teacher didnt even notice though honestly Ive had an entire class throw shit at me and call me a whore and the teacher in that class looked at me and TURNED AWAY. End of the day, I reported it to my actual graphics teacher when he returned and he told me he’d take this higher up and to get my parents. My home was only 5 minutes away but I had to walk alone when most the students were gone AND through a fucking alleyway. I always walked with my head low but that day I kept it high and tried to look brave because I genuinely thought he was waiting for me. That he was going to rape and kill me because he’s a pervert and Id just discovered a fucking violent one at that. I broke down at my door. Do you know how fuckin hard it is to look your parents who are dealing with two cancer patients and other issues in the eyes and tell them their ‘little girl’ had a knife to her through for standing up for herself? We went back, I described everything and even remember the yellow-orange handle just to get this kid punished? I even wrote an official police statement (well, the written witness account they add to their statement and evidence) and had to speak on mine and my friend’s behalf because she was that shook up. I never even used to speak for myself! He got expelled, but yknow what us jolly folk dealt with? Hearing kids and his mates mumbling about the ‘rat’ and how much of a cunt they were. Teachers and kids praise him for his art skills and even pin them on display EVERYWHERE (one - ONE - was a fucking self portrait and none of the staff seemed to find issue in that) and even an occassion where he came back into the school when he legally wasnt (trespassing). Do you know how hard it is to fucking avoid someone without raising suspicions from everyone around you in a narrow corridor? Im TALL too. I got NO support from this and felt on edge because he could easily sneak into school. I couldnt say shit because his stupid ‘spies’ were about. Just typing this is upsetting enough- I also know a rl Angel who’s like him minus the sexual harassment. She’s... I never used to like her and visa versa but we actually get along really well now, even though she can be creepy and perverse- But she wouldnt be my type either nor I with her. Often we really fuck each other off but we can also bond great. Another incident reminds me of Husk’s candid photo. Ive had people keep my photo despite me saying not to however I had someone SOMEHOW at that school one the fuck up that. There was a cut out from a magazine of a lady who looked like my DOUBLE except she was asian. Now I thought this was cool and it made me feel sorta pretty. This one girl showed everyone and the teacher, pretty much everyone was like “Oh shit that really is you, C!” and it was harmless fun at first. Until I wanted the picture. Again, this woman looked EXACTLY like me. Yet this girl refused and said she wanted to keep it and even carried it around in her pencil case. Yes it wasnt me but due to the similarities, this photo was called me (tbf the fuckin pic got more respect than I did-). This isnt the only creepy instant between me and this girl but the photo reminds me of it. And this tops people keeping photos OF me which happened in primary school. This was me but legal at that time. And asain. It was super fucking neckbeardy the way she treated this photo and stared, often stroking it and looking at me. I just hope she was only trying to scare me. Theres one final instance of a sexual assault but Im just not yet ready to be public about it. 2 here already know. Those are some of my rl experiences and more to come (unfortunately) that show these behaviours in real life. It seems - it comes across - that sexual harassment, MORE SO TOWARDS MEN, is seen as some punchline and not something legitimately horrifying or dangerous. It’s not cute. It’s fucking FAR from it. Ive already mentioned how putting two addicts together can lead to relapsing, dependence on each other in an unhealthy way. And Ive even mentioned what Angel needs in a relationship in the RD post. Luckily for you, I’ll copy and paste it here: “ We need to think about where both are mentally. What benefits would a relationship give both? How would they be good and bad for each other? For Al, aside from his outdated views and being a fucking murderer and narcissist, he actually seems in a good mindspace for a relationship IF he opted to be in one. Angel however has a very immature mindset, likewise is in a phase of life where hes bed hopping. IF he were to be in a relationship, I’d say he needs a male equivalent of Cherri - someone with a similar mindset yet some differences, willing to have fun and in touch with their younger side, down to cuddle, open to share and receive love as well as not afraid to publicly be affectionate with him, someone who sees him as more than just for sex, someone fun, someone who’ll let him embrace his cutesy side publicly without shame - Cherri is younger so maybe someone who’s his age or slightly younger perhaps? I think Angel’s not retirement home ready to settle and needs someone on his level that can cuddle and chill as well as feels free and youthful enough to go wild with him. In one sense, he’s got a teen girl sorta mindset (dont put him with a teen though, it’s fuckin weird-). He needs someone positive and raw, someone to let him be himself as well as someone comfortable to be themselves around him. He has a habit of latching onto unobtainable men (in psychology, this is self sabotaging subconsciously): Travis the client, Val a pimp, Husk (emotionally unavailable and needs HEAVY self work - interestingly far more than Angel - plus he’s still onto his last relationship and an addict to gambling and alcohol), Pent who’s the enemy he was currently fighting (inappropriate timing), Alastor who’s not interested in another but his own needs [selfish, VERY bad for a relationship]. Subconsciously he’s self sabotaging on purpose. There’s many psychology books as well as sources online for this, if you’re interested. Either way, Angel is drawn to men either like his father [who dislike him, shun him, or are otherwise cold, abusive or just blatantly dislike or otherwise dont care about him] or anyone with money to fuel his drug addiction/’debt’ to Val. Going with any of these men isn’t a good idea. Preferably, Angel needs someone who he doesnt immediately crush and obsess over. Someone who he doesnt sexually harass or assault. Someone he can build a connection with quickly that can bud into romance (think how Chaggie started as a friendship which clicked immediately). Maybe even someone he doesn’t expect to fall for but does so anyways. It would be more realistic as Viv wants as well as more healthy. That for once he isnt sex or money craved instantly, thus doesnt sexually harass/assault and is given a proper chance to develop and grow a friendship and love. Someone who isnt an addict. Someone with an on-par mindset where they click. Someone open to love. For any chance of a good relationship, Angel needs to be with anyone BUT who we’ve already seen. There’s too much toxicity that’ll be swept under the rug and justified otherwise. Too much shit to fuel homophobes in terms of gay stereotypes. Even though Ive focused a fair bit on Angel, it’s NOT just about Angel. That’s something fans forget. Some he depends on or someone who depends on him in the long term wont last and will be very dangerous to both. Just because you suffer, you dont then deserve to be rewarded with ‘something nice’. You dont get to have everything youve ever wanted. Giving him any of these blokes [minus Val] gives him a pass. Gives him what he wants. I get Viv loves him but life doesnt work that way. True lasting growth comes from learning that. Acceptance and growth. You dont get everything you want and sometimes thats a GOOD thing. He’s not a spoilt kid who gets everything he asks for, he’s YOUR creation. If you really wanted what your creations deserve then you need to research and be realistic with it. Because hes starting to feel like a shitty Gary-Stu at this rate.” Sorry for that copypaste clusterfuck. Copy paste is not my forte lol Now Husk. Remember Big? Probably not after the info overload, but if you do GREAT. Big needed love, patience, understanding, someone who could help him, someone who understood and respected his boundaries. I spent so much damn time and now he cuddles up and exposes his tummy because I make him feel understood, loved and safe. He NEVER purred or meowed (why would he need to meow when he didnt speak to humans?) but now he does. He lives on the streets of a neighbourhood with rough folk. He used to draw blood and go rabid on my arms. But I was patient and showed him that I understood his reasons but that he was safe with me and had no need to strike out. I never pushed his boundaries let alone doing it multiple times (the rl angel I know is fucking skilled at pushing cat’s boundaries and wonders why they all huddle up to me and avoid her lol). Husk is an unavailable man. Romantic/Sexual love does NOT heal his wounds. But thats the only thought fans and the team have given on his side. He needs love to ‘fix’ him. The WORST reason to get with someone. Theyre not a project and you arent a fucking miracle worker. Treat them as an equal. He needs a good friend. JUST a friend. Like Big, he needs patience, trust, understanding, and extensive help (arguably more intense than Angel’s). He needs to love himself a bit more FIRST. Someone who respects his boundaries INSTANTLY. Someone relatable and similar, open to love not just sex and not as troubled (if they are, they need to handle it way better, healthily and overall be in a good mindspace). Viv can ship whatever the fuck tickles her fancy, but once your passion project becomes public and funded, you have set responsibilities on how to address and handle sensitive issues as well as having to accept criticism. If Husk goes sober in the name of love (ESPECIALLY with the guy not respecting his boundaries and sexually harassing him), then it’s a fucking INSULT to alcoholics. I know a few rl Husks but there’s one that anyone who knows me enough knows the man I hold closest to my heart was an alcoholic and spitting of Husk. That’s why Husk’s character means so much to me. But there’s only 2 here who know a bit more of this man. This is something Id hoped to not share so soon, nor as messy. And Im already getting waterworks because this is FAR from easy. I guess Husk became the very thing *I* needed in order to face this. This man was my grandfather. WAS. I cant even fucking accept that. I was a fucking child. I feel stupid being so open about this over some stupid cartoon but it just shows the real life effects this has on REAL fucking people. This man was old and lonely. Always at the pubs. He taught me card games, card tricks and card magic as well as one of his own sons dealing with a gambling addiction. I feel so fucking stupid crying about this- I dont want to open up but its the only way I feel I can get people to understand my side in all of this. This man was a fucking MESS. A closed off, lonely, grumpy old bastard. He lost his love because of his alcohol addiction and never found love again. Never got over that woman. (Shes still kicking and we’re close - im keeping some things under wraps between them as its not my place). Gave up on life and love. Worked hard at his fixation on cards and puzzles, as well as crass jokes and knowledge. But he was very lazy otherwise. Bitter and angry. And you know what? He was my world. I love this man with every fiber of my being because he was the first person to love and accept me for me. He treated me as an equal and helped me grow as a person. In fact... He was only ever happy around us kids. He had hope again. Protected me. He used to hate gays and blacks and you know what? He taught HIMSELF as to why that was shitty thinking. He taught ME about differences in people and to accept it. He taught me that you dont always have to understand to accept. He taught me poker and... swears admittedly. He was a beautiful soul that was broken inside. He needed to love himself. But you know what actually fucking happened? You know what I watched as a kid? I watched as he smoked until every morning he woke throwing up phlegm just to BREATHE. I watched as sometimes the light in his eyes died and through smoke breaks and early drinking how he’d sometimes slip and show me his pain. And we’d have deep talks about it and the world and everything. How alcohol ruined his life yet he craved it. His scent. I remember arguments I wasnt supposed to overhear and growing up seeing him fucking DIE slowly in a hospital bed. The man he was ended up as a fucking husk. His skin was bloated and purple, he was half machine on how much shit he was hooked up to. How he was barely a man at all. He was dying of cancer and he fucking knew and never told us. His cancer meds gave him horrid hallucinations. And I practically spent most of my time in that hospital because TWO people had cancer. Two stunning people had fucking stupid bastard cancer. He was a fuck up. He was flawed to shit. But seeing glimpses of the real him was a fucking ethereal experience. He made me feel like a PERSON. And all we could do in the end was watch him just die. He WANTED to die and you could see it but hed only eat around us to fake fight out of his own hubris and not wanting to let us down. That year, I watched 2 of the only people who ever gave a shit about me die the most dishonourable deaths God could have gave them. Years prior I watched his son gamble EVERYTHING away - his lover, his house, his everything. Hes a moderate gambler now with a partner who never had a history of any addiction. She helps keep him in line as he helps her. But most nights I fucking dream of this shit. I cant even think about my hero because I fucking weep. I still have nightmares. Im still up thinking how I could have saved him from himself when it’s him who was the only one able to. I have to live my life with those memories and I was just a kid. Im a full woman and Im still haunted by it. Even that year is blasphemy and I fucking hate it. I want to take him in my arms, hold him and tell him he’s enough. That its ok and he can get through this. Anything that reminds me of him, I love because I know the other side. The real side. The side not tethered to vices. When I see people like that, I pray they see themselves like that too and I want to help them see it. Tell them that they can live again. It’s better than fucking decaying in a hospital bed. That when people make this sorta shit into a cute quirk it’s not. And it’s dickheads like me who have actually seen it play in the real world to REAL people they love. They arent a fucking accessory to fix for your own narrative. They arent a fuckin performing monkey. At least with Rick and Morty it’s kinda humorous and never played for some shitty toxic ship to appeal to everyone who’s never had to face that shit themselves. And Im like my old man but with more hope and no addiction. I drink and I gamble but I’ll never let myself get that low. Because I honour him but Im not as fucking saft. I wont allow it even though it’s a fucking battle. Those addictions are in the blood. My family history. Its always been so fucking normal. I’ll never knock someone for an addiction or try to preach them out of it because theres often pain fueling it, but I’d never encourage it or toxic faux cures and stupid romance promises as some bullshit MLM remedy either. I KNOW it’s fiction but I want people to see the real side. I want VIV to see the real side. Id willingly for FREE fucking sing that shit if it meant spreading a good message. Because this is fucking hell. FIXING IT: The ship’s basis is too set in stone now - too familiar to change. Best is to never let it be canon. Because you know what else it teaches? That rOmAnCe cures all. Not therapy. Not rehab. Not any REAL work. Just fuck and date it all away as if it’s that easy. It’s a mockery! I tried to be professional about this but when the media bombards this shit constantly, the has the AUDACITY to play like it’s giving a good message is salt to the wounds. A kiss with a fist. An old man dont care for the petty teen drama that Angel and Cherri (even fuckin Al) thrive on. Want this to send a good message still? Angel hates rejection and thinks everyone wants him. Have Husk reject him. Especially because no one should go out with someone whos sexually harassed them there. Been there, done that got the fuckin tshirt. Have Husk reject Angel the way Gravity Falls has Wendy reject Dipper. It helped Dipper move on and mature, and this is what Angel needs for growth and to be more humble. Husk would be a fucking excellent mentor to Angel, a friend and protector, someone who shows him the ropes like Grunkle Stan like a grandfather figure. To not fall for his mistakes. Husk would be a better expert than any of them plus it balances the power dynamtic. It’s healthy and realistic. Touches the topic with the sensitivity it needs. Not everything needs a ship or romance. Wounds healed that way dont stay healed long. Angel seems more fitting as a son like figure, and he can play that dad like role for him. And if any of the team EVER saw this, fucking take this idea. Its YOURS. FREE. FOREVER. If we wanna play this NDA but still reblog some of the story telling arts and have some of our team indulge in it. I wont sue. Fucking TAKE IT if it means doing this shit right because Spindlehorse have beautifully triggered so many different people and their different traumas to please teenagers sexual fantasies, their own kinks and for a jolly good joke. This is a bastard long read and Ive had to face the traumas again but if good can come from it then I’ll GLADLY dance this duet again. Stans, Antis, dont even TEMPT interaction. You arent brave sending suicide threats behind a screen, youre a coward and a waste of oxygen. I WANT Hazbin and Helluva to succeed. I want Viv and her crew to do well. Trust me, I wouldnt waste my time if I didnt give a shit. Viv is fucking gifted and its being wasted if it’s not at her full potential for the approval of a rabid army of kids and immature adults who dont know any better (stans and antis). I know she would like a good and decent fanbase. Stans and antis arent it. Tagging you folks because it’s long but yall actually helped me have the courage to open my trap to this. Screenshots are coming later though all of what Ive said is easily sourced. But this has been days, Im sick, im tired, ive been upset facing my own traumas. If any tags wanna help then by all means but otherwise. @honesthazbinarchives, @siaesnow (also added age still bc despite the lack of physical aging, theres also the mental aspect and experiences as well as power dynamics side to it, in case youre wondering), @noirellearts, @enchantedchocolatebars, @galemalio (thank you for letting me weep like a bitch), @angel-blitz, @critical-hazbin, @what-the-hazbin, @hazboobhotel, @pineapple-critiques-stuff, @devils-advocutie, SORRY AGAIN FOR BEING A LIL BITCH FOLKS, I feel awkward like my teen years but yeah- fuck it Im old and imma rot soon anyways. If this experience can help then Ill be glad.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin critical #anti huskerdust sorry folks #vivienne medrano #criticism #toxic relationships in fiction #how fiction impacts the real world #yeah im a wimp who cares?#hazbin needs to change for the better #concerned fan #dont be another yandev #dont be another yansim #stans and antis dni #stans and antis will be blocked and reported #hope this gives justice to my hero about the rl effects of addiction #rest easy Kiddas got this #still shitting myself #read more wont work sorry

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you-cant-spell-subtext-without · 4 years ago

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Sigh. It’s quiet today, so I guess it’s about time to talk about 12x06: Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox.

This is an episode without Cas, so clearly it revolves entirely around Cas (I'm kidding, but only a little bit). It’s also a bottle episode and a meta writer’s wet dream, so excuse me while I nerd out - this is a long one to unpack, and I have spent too much time doing it for you. That’s ok because, as Sam says:

DIVE IN AFTER THE CUT BUDDIES!

The Asa montage is where we start.

Asa is a Dean mirror. The parallels are pretty clear - he’s a scruffy rough around the edges hunter, Mary is the reason he got into hunting, he wears a ton of flannel, etc. If you remain unsure, the writers throw this in at the very beginning in the montage of Asa’s life as a hunter So That You Know:

Bucky: Hey, you know they make new cars, right? Asa: I don’t want a new car. This is my lucky car.

***Canadian!Dean confirmed.

Shaine Jones may also be the Canadian Jensen Ackles.

I don’t make the rules ok?

Back in the US, the boys surprise Jody with a visit.

In case you forgot the episode prior to this one:

Side note: domestic Jody gives me life.

We’re clearly supposed to see how Jody is a mom figure for the boys, and it feels nice for them to have that, especially since Mary is Taking Some Space. Their entire dynamic warms even my cold black soul.

[romantic scene of a couple silhouetted against a sunset while sweeping music plays on Jody’s TV. The couple kisses.]

DEAN

[his mouth full of pizza] Jody, you watching some kind of chick flick here?

JODY

Well, Dean. I’m a chick.

Kim Rhodes YOU ARE A DELIGHT. A side note - I know this exchange is supposed to be funny, but I feel sad for Dean (who clearly is a rom com chick). This is a perfect example of Dean struggling to present some fabricated image of heteronormative masculinity that’s not the heart of who he actually is. His surprise that a “badass sheriff chick” can also enjoy rom coms makes me fucking upset.

ALSO:

Anyway, Asa has passed on and the boys tag along with Jody to the wake in support.

SAM

Yeah, no, Jody. We… we know you’ll be fine, but… you know, we never go to hunter gatherings, outside of bars. Dad always said they were trouble, so…

DEAN

Yes, you’d be doing us a favor if you let us tag along.

***more receipts that John Winchester was an isolating abuser. They could have at least had a normal HUNTER life and friends who hunted.

SAM

That is a big house. [Music continues playing, coming from inside the house now]

***We now establish one “theme” of the episode.

JODY

Family home. Asa was just a guy.

AKA pretty brutal implication that Asa didn’t have a family of his own.

Speaking of implications:

[Jody removes her coat and the three of them begin mingling. Dean finds his way to the kitchen and a cooler full of beer] DEAN

No label. Well, that’s a red flag.

****LOL WHAT THE FUCK IS THE REASON****

....

GIRL SEND HELP

Enter Bucky, who is actually (SPOILER!) the villain of the episode.

Do all hunters just walk around with this manly flannel/weird symbolic necklace combo? Looking at you Bucky and Dean.

Dean is surprised to find that people know who he is:

But doesn’t seem to have an issue with it until -

***Someone who just bragged the entire five hour car ride about killing Hitler shouldn’t be this concerned about what people are saying about him right?

Or is he thinking it may involve something he isn’t comfortable sharing - since apparently there are things Dean doesn’t feel comfortable sharing as established by the prior couch conversation with Jody? Hmmmmmm...

***Compare the expressions. The “you’ve died four times” response is the same as the smug/proud “I killed Hitler” face. The reaction to the “stories” is the “hey this is my personal business” reaction Dean had to Sam’s Japanese erotica art form comment. He is thinking specifically about something personal.

I wonder what it could be.

I don’t think any one had to teach Max Banes the art of seduction, but also thank you.

Also, manifesting Dean being raised by Max and Alicia’s Cool Witch Mom instead of John Trash Winchester. Because that’s what we’re supposed to think here, correct? Two sibling hunters usually present a brother mirror.

Worth noting Sam’s surprise that witches can also be hunters. The John Winchester Bigotry Brain Rot runs deep. (GOD the Sam-witch thing would have driven him crazy I LIVE FOR THAT).

Dean escapes to Asa’s office/room and proceeds to go through his things.

[Dean is in Asa’s office and finds an angel blade mounted on blue velvet inside an ornate glass-lidded box. He opens it, reaches in and pulls out the angel blade, comfortably spinning it in his hand when Sam walks in.]

SAM

Hey.

DEAN

Oh, hi. This is a real Angel Blade. I mean, this guy was legit.

***that’s weird, why does Canadian!Dean have an angel blade? We haven’t heard anything about angels yet, and it wasn’t in the opening montage. Hmmmmmm, I say. Hmmmmmmm...

***Sam is also concerned about The Stories They Tell

This one particularly:

Honestly I don’t know why he’s THAT surprised that people know he was possessed by Lucifer? Didn’t he start like multiple apocalypses? That’s something people tend to be in the know about. Anyhoo.

DEAN

Yeah. Apparently we’re a little bit legendary.

SAM

Yeah, but, I mean, so was Asa. Then a hunt went bad, and he ended up hanging from a tree, alone in the woods.

DEAN

He died on the job. No better way to go.

SAM

You really believe that?

DEAN

Yeah. What, you don’t? I mean, come on, Sam, it's not like we're in the “live till you're 90, die in your sleep” business. This? [Dean points at Asa’s hunting wall] This only ends one way.

***Insert deep internal screaming about 15x20 here***

It’s Jody’s turn to be uncomfortable as we find out she and Asa were more than just friends and everyone knew it and Said Things About It and Told Stories About It.

HMMMMMMM...

Dean is surprised that Jody not only enjoys rom coms, but ruggedly hot men. Another thing they have in common.

As Dean comes to terms with the idea that Jody can be a mother figure and also a human person with a life and her own feelings and needs and thoughts, enter the person whom said lesson is actually about:

This is a Kim Rhodes Facial Expression stan account now.

So cute how Jody knows immediately that Dean is not okay. Time to reach:

JODY

Huh. Is that why you spent the entire ride up here telling me in extreme, excruciating detail how you killed Hitler, but, uh, you neglected to mention the fact that your mom is back from the dead?

***look, it’s another Dean doesn’t like others knowing personal information parallel!***

DEAN

Yeah, no big deal.

JODY

That’s a lie.

DEAN

JODY …

JODY

Look, maybe this isn't my place, and this is epic stuff, but

JODY

Yeah. Because what if I’ve changed. What if they changed? What if it just didn’t work out the way I wanted? If you wanna talk about anything

***Killing Hitler used yet again to show Dean doesn’t care about oversharing hunting stories, but he doesn’t like for people to know personal ones. Also, Jody mentions her son and her husband. Her family and her romantic partner.

Dean wasn’t just reunited with Mary this season. He was also reunited with Cas, after saying goodbye to him at the end of Season 11 when he headed to what he thought was going to be his death as the Amara-bomb.

So, this conversation isn't just about Mary (the “anything”). It’s also about Cas (the”...absolutely anything”).

Mary chats with Mama Fox and more Points Are Made about hunters not getting to have a “normal life” or family:

MARY

I saved his life.

LORRAINE

[scoffing] What am I supposed to say to that? After you, Asa got so… Hunting was his whole life. He never married. Never had a family, kids. And now… enjoy the wake.

***sending Mary on a guilt spiral about Asa (mirroring her other guilt spiral about hunting as a life for her own sons)

Speaking of mirrors:

BUCKY

And Asa loved that Jeep. Fuses were shorted, fuel line was busted. Ah, he didn’t care. He’d just roll up his sleeves, he’d get right to work.

Time to learn about today’s Big Bad.

BUCKY

Jael. He’s a crossroads demon. And he hangs people. It’s his thing. Snaps their neck, slits their throat. He’s a real piece of work.

***Wait a second. Jael is a demon? Don’t...angel’s names usually end in “el” in SPNverse?

Samandriel.

Uriel.

Gabriel.

Raphael.

Gadreel.

Castiel.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Anyways the demon [questionable] killed Asa and now everyone is trapped and also In Grave Danger.

BUCKY

Exactly. Right, so five years later, Jael– he came back, and he came for Asa.

JODY

How so?

BUCKY

Asa was seeing this woman, right? She had a kid.

LORRAINE

Marlene.

BUCKY

Yeah, Marlene. Jael got into her. It didn’t matter that he was killing people, he wanted Asa to know it was personal. He gets off on it.

***that’s so weird, didn’t someone else in the show start seeing a woman with a kid -

what a sexy little coincidence.

oh and didnt a supernatural being come back right around that time too -

HMMMMMMMM. No killing though. That’s the difference between angels and demons, I guess.

(meanwhile Dean has been drinking alone outside - as he does, and is realizing he can’t get back in)

HI QUEEN

Also, this immediately took me to

this show isn’t fair.

****sob break****

Jael Posession 1:

So curious how there are two siblings and then one gets possessed by something Satanic and the other one is good at seducing men.

SO FUCKING CURIOUS.

Jael Possession 2:

Elvis. Random. Though he was the guy who brought up the Stories Sam Was Surprised Were Circulating -

He was also oddly interested in it. Methinks Elvis thoroughly enjoyed the Jael possession.

Bilie gets Dean back in the house. The words “one-time deal” are said a lot of times.

BONUS: Jensen why are you so pretty:

The hunters get to work, and I live for Max Bane’s pentagram aesthetic.

MAX

I like a Fifth Pentacle of Mars. It’s got more character.

***TBH, same.

Jael possession 3:

****Kim Rhodes is even better when she is playing evil.

JODY/JAEL:

I had so hoped you’d kill your mom. Wouldn’t that be a riot?

[Mary draws the angel blade and charges at Jody. She cuts Jody’s arm before Sam wrestles her away.]

SAM

No! Mom!

MARY

What are you doing?! She’s a demon. We kill demons.

******WOOF MARY - I REPEAT TO YOU THAT THE JOHN TRASH WINCHESTER BRAIN ROT RUNS DEEP.

Also did you immediately flash back to this with me?

Gets me thinking that Dean’s feelings for Cas are made twice as complicated by the fact that he is also a supernatural creature. Another Reason Why John Winchester Would Disapprove.

****Just as he would Disapprove of Sam Being Possessed By the Devil and all that (never forget he told Dean to kill him because of the whole made unclean by demon blood thing).

Right on cue:

JODY/JAEL

Oh, I have heard so many stories about you Winchesters. And I desperately want the Lucifer thing to be true.

***Stories again. Jael proceeds to go into Stories That Are Dark Personal Shameful Secrets:

JAEL

As for the rest of you, I have been inside your heads. I know all about you. For example, the twins. Too frightened to tell anyone that they actually came to say goodbye to their daddy. Or the grieving mother who hated the fact that her son was a hunter so much she’d hide his gear, she’d sabotage his Jeep, anything to keep him from hunting. Not that it worked. Could’ve tried harder, huh?

[She gestures at her own face] And this meatsuit you all seem to care so much about. She actually fantasized about a life with Asa. Can you believe that? Like that worthless man–

***HMMMMMMMMM

[Bucky gets off the floor and sneaks up behind Jody/Jael]

BUCKY

Shut your filthy mouth.

[Jody/Jael grabs Bucky by the neck and forces him to his knees]

JODY/JAEL

And you. Bucky. Brave, brave Bucky. I was there that night. Tell these nice, stupid people what you did. Tell them what you took from me. Asa was mine.

***Excuse me? THIS IS GETTING VERY...subtextual. A dark timeline supernatural being/hunter relationship [ending badly because demons only know how to take, consume and possess]? ...Asael? CURIOUS.

They chant the exorcism, a different hunter doing each iteration (beautifully done)

and send Jael back to hell, but not before Bucky shares his Shameful Story - he’s the one who killed Asa.

Elaboration:

BUCKY

Asa, he was just all– he was just always so stubborn. Look, we were in the woods. [We see the scene play out as Bucky describes it] Jael, he… he was taunting him. Asa wanted to chase him, but he didn’t have the angel blade. I said, “Let’s go back.” He called me a coward, and he shoved me, so I shoved him back, and he fell. He hit his head. Asa? I didn’t mean to do it. But it was a mistake. Asa. Asa? An accident. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do. Asa hated that damn demon so much that I just…

DEAN

Oh, you thought people would buy that Jael killed him? So you hung your best friend to cover your own ass.

BUCKY

What are you gonna do to me?

ALICIA:

Tell everyone, every hunter we meet. They’re gonna know your name, Bucky. Know what you did.

MAX

You like stories. This is the story everyone’s gonna tell about you. Forever.

***Shameful Stories that Define You, what a theme. Also, definitely a supernatural being potentially having some subtextual feelings for Canadian!Dean. Hmmm.

***Funeral pyre and side discussion about how Asa did have a family, and children, and a potential supernatural sidepiece.

In conclusion, Supernatural is a love story. Thank you for watching this dark timeline/Canadian dub. You’re dismissed for the day. Go eat bacon.

#destiel #spn #spn meta #spn analysis #spn fandom #spn family #hellers #hellerism #supernatural season 12 #spn 12x06 #celebrating the life of asa fox

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theelliottsmiths · 4 years ago

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do you feel like talking about tillchard? 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 not necessarely in a shippy way, just,,, how their relationship functions and why,,,, how they made it work for so long even tho they're so different,,,, i'm trying to write them but i'm in a bit of a block and i feel like you can word things so well and hopefully it will make me able to string words together again 🥺🥺 have a good day in any case 🥺🥺

Okay we have to ease into this my brain needs to warm up to switch tracks so I'm just gonna

Disclaimer: this is mostly conjecture and inference, take it with a full handful of salt.

I feel like whether or not they're all that different is up for debate? Maybe in terms of interests and conflict management skills, but the fundamentals seem pretty similar. I'd argue that's usually the basis for long, intense friendships: your core structures are the same but there's enough difference further out towards the surface that it stays a little spicy.

For a start, they both had rough home lives, though to different extents and in different ways, and I think that's one of those things that really helps people bond deeply (especially as young adults). Finding someone who understands what you've experienced can be difficult, not even accounting for the fact that they didnt have the internet to seek others out and kind of met by chance.

For Richard, who learned from a fairly early age it was him against everything and everyone else, and Till, who at that time had gone through some interpersonal shit with the people he worked with before leaving to move in with his dad and then also the stuff with his dad, it must have been almost... Shocking? to meet someone they could click with and depend on. It doesn't sound like they had that before, but nobody really has asked them. On top of that is all kinds of other trauma and the mental health issues (depression, addiction, anxiety etc) that they can at least to some degree understand in each other. I have no idea how long it took for their friendship to get that intense or any of that more specific stuff, but I honestly don't think that matters: They understand each other at a pretty fundamental level now. Sometimes I think about how Till believes in karma and Richard believes in fate and I just... Yeah.

They have very different feelings and reactions when it comes to disagreements (Till hates conflict and will try to placate people or just do what they want completely, Richard prefers a good cathartic argument) and I can absolutely see them having a hard time with that, especially when they lived together for a while. Whether they have much to fight over besides silly friend/bandmate/brother things remains to be seen.

They're also both very driven and creative almost to a fault? Though Till seems a lot better at switching off and leaving that headspace, whereas Richard doesn't seem like he'd be able to even of he wanted to, which I don't think he does. If one is lost in their work the other will understand. I wonder whether they try to offer support, given how much emotion they both channel into it, or if that's not something either of them would want.

They feed into each others creativity so nicely too. They use that to their complete advantage and honestly just... Can you imagine Rammstein if they didn't go to each other with their ideas first? I think they need each others encouragement before they face the more critical members of the band: the support of a single person can make so much difference.

When the Mutter Situation was in progress Till was the only one in Richards side, though I doubt he inserted himself into many arguments because he's allergic to shouting. I with my whole heart believe that Richard would have tried to leave Rammstein if it wasn't for Till. He'd already thought about it, in particular at times when they were struggling financially. Without that tether would he have gone back willingly? I'm not so sure. He loved them and they were still friends outside of the work, but I don't know that the work with them would feel worth it. Complete conjecture.

Theyll have inevitably drifted in and out of their friendship over the years, which I know a lot of us (especially those of is in our teens and twenties) hate the idea of because we have not experienced 30-year adult friendships and therefore it feels Risky, but actually thats pretty fine. It seems like at some point Richard wasn't happy with the gap and he made efforts to change it, which says so much about him and them. No idea if it worked, but it (along with the stuff with the other guys) shows he's willing to work against his whole lone wolf thing. Again, that man will fight. I'm sure Till was receptive.

I also really do think the other guys being there and them all forming the band was vital. Yes, it did eventually mean their friendship morphed into something more like brothers and colleagues than friends, but again, Let's Go. "Sometimes people need to be reminded". Having those shared friends/bandmates—as well as Khira li, come to think of it— meant that two men who seem fairly prone to cutting themselves off from everyone else didn't have the choice to completely grow apart. It means they had even more shared experiences and had no choice but to be physically together for long stretches of time.

Related to the mutter thing, I do wonder sometimes how Till is when it comes to Richards drug addiction. He's not exactly a fan of the therapy (did it hurt Richard when Till said therapy makes people egotistical, what with him praising it so highly himself?) and still does drugs and binge drinks. How safe is he to be around if Richard is in a bad spot? Presumably Till isn't like that when he's not in work mode, so hanging out one in one or with family/the other boys is probably okay, but in tour? Well, maybe that's why Paul looks after him on stage like that.

Yeah. They're sweet boys and I'm glad they met each other, both because of the band and because they were clearly good for each other. Regardless of any of the negative stuff I just said they love each other. So. Fucking. Much.

Okay so looking back upon this I do not know if I did what you asked. Uh. Shit. Distraction:

#ive been trying to hard not to start with the autism/adhd thing im trying so hard to shush #rammstein #me rambling #till lindemann #richard zk #basically an essay #friends

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simonalkenmayeris-still-dead · 4 years ago

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Simon's take on immortality...

Lol 👀

The part that really kills me is that he has internet and a tumblr account and doesn't keep up with any memes or anything. Those are opposite behaviors. He acts like he doesnt get infamous tumblr posts but yet he spends a lot of time combing through the bowels of this website for stuff. Hypthetically there's 2 kinds of immortals:

"You have ligma" and *can barely use google to know what ligma is*. Bonus points if they think it's a legitimate English word, because they truly cant be bothered. Only the first would be on tumblr.com. The second gets to live thier life in peace without knowing monsterfuckers exist. (Or do they? :))

Anyway, at least Simon is funny I guess. Sometimes he gives me an aweful feeling though. My least favorite of the people I pay attention to. I'm mostly intrested in the outcome of whatever hes doing, it's a learning opportunity I guess. I'm starting to despise him for how he makes people feel. I rarely check his blog but I just did, and.. its digressed. If that's even possible.

Batshit insane that he talks about killing people openly. That has to be the most obviously fake thing I've ever seen, zero benefit to ever doing that. Anyway he's very human so y'all can calm down. Hes a character and his content is solely based around "what" he is and not "who". Honestly the lack of emotion is the insulting part to me. That and how he somehow manages to be condescending on top of it.. and his ideas about things are so off. I've never seen him address any of the true conflicts he would hypothetically have.

Basically he's a spectacular clown and don't be afriad. No clue what's going on with the current posts he has. It's bs, and the way people are responding to it has made me upset, it's strange how they go with anything he says. To the person that posted that, I'm sorry for whatevers going on, I didnt read the orginal post before getting the rock, so I can't have a position. I'm going to assume someone's messing with you and I'm sorry you're afraid. You should put up cameras for sure.

I hate how simon makes people afraid. The world is safer than it's ever been, even though it might not seem that way. Enjoy the spring/fall, be safe. Some random cryptid isnt going to wreck your shit.

Rant over, didnt mean to write so much. There's so much to unpack from that blog that once you start it keeps comming. Apology in advance for the way I type, I know it gets pretty rough. I can't really fix it that easily sorry

Now I have to go look at what he’s saying again. Sounds fun!

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ask-villain-izuku-midoriya · 4 years ago

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Everyone. It's Ace.

I know I'm posting at 3 am. But this was one of my only free moments.

I'm not going to sugarcoat this, something really fucked up just happened to me.

So two months ago, when I got a job as a CSR at Domino's, I met someone. He was sweet, kind, and made me laugh every time I talked to him. Eventually we got close, and he asked me out, and I said yes.

My parents were somewhat adamant about me being out with him. We got in big trouble at one point because I was out late talking with him after work. It didn't help that I didn't get out of work until 2 am. My mom was calling him a pedophile, said that if he respected me he would've asked to meet my parents first, assumed we were out drinking and having sex, etc. Of course, I'm 19 and he's 21. So it wouldn't be illegal even IF we were doing that.

Then she had the audacity to tell me that my dad was contacting my general manager to find out my clock in and clock out times.

By law, HE CANNOT GIVE OUT THAT INFO. By law, THEY CANNOT ASK FOR THAT INFO. By law, THEY CANNOT HAVE ACCESS TO MY SCHEDULE. The only reason why they did have access was because my sister was registered as the email used for my application, and she sent the schedule to my dad.

BY LAW WHAT THEY DID WAS A FELONY. MY GENERAL MANAGER COULD'VE GOTTEN FIRED AND THROWN IN JAIL BECAUSE OF THEM.

I have never had the best relationship with my mom. But this kind of was the last straw.

I consulted my now boyfriend about all of the situation, and he agreed that I was not happy there, and with the advice of my fellow coworkers, I decided to leave.

My old phone, which was literally a $20 prepaid flip-phone that came from family dollar, which I didnt get until I started here, which wasnt even considered mine, which was a work phone only, and which I was not allowed to buy a personal phone myself, was taken away after the incident. So my boyfriend(gonna call him T) bought me an LG Rebel at Wal-Mart with service.

I wasn't even given access to my own paychecks. Half went to my savings, a quarter to my parents, and a quarter was my own. Even so, my parents had my own portion set into a savings account so I did not have access to it. I coukd ask for withdrawals, yes; but when you make $527 and you only get $20 at a time...well, anyone would get pissed. So, for the most part, I lived off of tips.

Shortly after I got my phone, a friend of T's contacted me. Essentially T told him everything I had gone through with my parents and he wasn't ok with it.

He and I kept in touch, and he urged me to leave while I could. After much pressuring I gave in, and decided to leave my house on September 30th.

Unfortunately, I started getting worried that my parents were catching on, and reported it to T and his friend. His friend, who was older and had a home and a job, said that I had to leave IMMEDIATELY, but I waited the next night to leave.

I moved in with three others: his original friend(calling him M), his other friend K, and N. N wasn't significant in this, by the way.

The next morning my dad contacted everyone at my work looking for me. T got a call from him and he said, all I can tell you is that I know where Ace is and they're safe. My general manager even threw me a bone and told my dad about how unhappy I was at home and how badly I wanted to leave.

T ended up coming over, and we hung out in the room I was staying in, which happened to be in M's room. Well, we were being intimate when M interrupted and kicked him out.

45 minutes later M critically hurt me.

I can't talk very much about it, because it's shameful and frankly, I don't even want to tell my own family, but all I can say is I nearly ended up in the hospital Friday because of the after effects.

Should I have been more careful, I would have noticed all of the warning signs. I would've gotten a weird feeling from all of the weird innuendos he sent me. I would've taken time to step back and asked him why he was so impatient to get me to leave. I would've been careful, especially after T mentioned him being into BDSM.

Because of the way I was raised, I was used to doing as I was told and putting others' happiness over my own. And I was scared of saying no.

Probably one thing that was stuck in my mind was, why couldn't I say no?

He did horrible things to me. He took photos and videos of me the whole time. He ripped one of my best pairs of pants. He yanked my hair a few times. He was rough with me. He marked me with his symbol a couple times. He encouraged me to say no if I didn't want to do something, yet a few times I said no, he kept going. I had to report everything about T to him. He ended up hurting me so bad that I was confined to the restroom with stabbing pains down there, pains so bad I thought I'd have to go to the hospital. At one point I told him I couldn't keep doing this, that I wanted to be with T, he began verbally tearing him up.

K ended up contacting T, saying that something was up. T contacted me and M separately, asking what was going on. M suggested just coming clean and me ending it with him, but I couldn't. M started texting me and began to blackmail me in a way, abd I decided that I couldn't do this. I had to get help. I privately called T at work and told him everything, that I was scared, and that I didn't feel safe anymore.

He immediately left work and headed over. Matt came in during the call so I had to hang up. He was demanding to know what I told him, and finally I gave in.

T showed up, and M had the audacity to blame me, saying that I willingly consented to it all, and that I was just playing him and T. He wouldn't have mentioned half of the things he did if I hadn't brought them up myself.

Afterwards T asked me where I wanted to be, and I told him I was scared to be here. So he took me to his house.

K called while T was driving, asking if we were gonna call the police. Apparently he had gone through M's phone and found the photos of me. He said he deleted them.

T's family took me in on Saturday. They all heard what happened and are letting me stay with him.

Unfortunately K is now blaming me for the whole incident. He heard M's side of the story and now believes that I am a slut and that I'm going to hurt T, and essentially never wants to see me again.

I'm safe now. I was originally going to quit Domino's and work at the same restaurant as M but now that is definitely not an option. I contacted my general manager and told him, and he gladly put me back on the schedule.

I'm ok now. But what is seriously fucking with my head is, I left one hell behind, and was so eager to leave that I didn't see another one waiting with open arms. He took advantage of my past and hurt me.

It'll take some time to move on from this, and I may not be on for a while. But hopefully I can continue the blog soon.

Thank you and have a good morning/afternoon/night.

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bloody-wonder · 4 years ago

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sorry if you've already been asked this question, but what are your opinions on the whole 'andrew choking kevin = abusive' thing? i personally didnt find it abusive, but i do think that it isn't necessarily something andrew would do to kevin especially when you take into account his need for keeping promises and sticking to your word. you're the only person i trust to talk about aftg canon so im curious

yeah i’ve talked about it a lot already but to give you an answer more specific to your question

first of all, if something happens in the books then it’s canon period. i can understand people not wanting to accept the extra content as canon but we have to agree on some common ground as to what is canon in order to have productive discussions and analyses and i think that the books that have been published as a complete three-part story are a good candidate. books = canon. andrew choking kevin = canon. nicky forcing himself upon neil = canon. casual ableism showcased by everyone = canon. love it or hate it, take it or leave it.

secondly, in order to say whether andrew’s abusive we have to define abusive. if it’s about physical violence than he’s no more abusive than other foxes most of whom have puched someone at least once throughout the books. if it’s not just about physical violence than maybe he is what do i know. what confuses me however is that people treat it like some big revelation - as though andrew used to be this perfect gentleman who has charmed his way into our graces but now it turns out that he actually is a jerk - how scandalous! newsflash: andrew often relies on violence to achieve his ends when he believes other ways to be unproductive for whatever reason - and often he goes too far. that’s just how he is and we know why. is it good? no. is it canon? yes. sorry that you read aftg a long time ago and canon andrew isn’t as chivalrous as you remember.

and thirdly in regard to how he allegedly broke his promise to kevin - we don’t actually know the terms of their deal do we? but based on the context i suppose that andrew promised kevin to protect him from the moriyamas or from riko - he never promised he’d never lay his hand on kevin. i vaguely remember them shoving each other on the court either in book one or two, so it’s not like rough manhandling was off the table. add andrew’s generally bad temper and desperation after neil’s disappearance and it’s not hard to imagine him going too far with that.

lastly, i think a helpful idea in this discussion would be do dispense with the essentialism: if someone hits another person (= does an abusive thing) it doesn’t mean that they instantly become an abuser. watch contrapoints video on cancel culture, she’ll explain. bcs i think at this point i’m okay with the statement “andrew choking kevin is abusive”, but i still think that “andrew is an abuser” is quite far-fetched. now, even if we agree to use statement one, there’s still the question of why there are no discourses “matt punching kevin is abusive” or “allison slapping aaron is abusive” in sight. why andrew? bcs it seems there are lots of people who just don’t like him and they have to exist in a fandom where everyone adores him. while i don’t agree with them i can relate to the need to have a problematic incident from canon caused by a character who happens to be extremely popular discussed and the offending character condemned. but i talked about nicky at length a couple of month ago and now i feel better for it. so i think they should just have their discourse over there just like i have mine over here with a series of blocks conveniently dividing us. maybe they will blow off their steam very soon just like i did.

#kevin day #andrew minyard #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg ask #aftg mine #guys i'm like reeeeeeal tired of this particular discourse #so the asks i got today will be the last ones i'll answer about this okay #just block people #that's all there is to it #i have many older posts about *the chocking discourse* if you're so interested #under similar tags as this one

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blackgirlblues · 5 years ago

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Being A Black Girl: And Chasing Your Dreams.. Yikes.

Hi,

It’s me, your resident black girl back with some new shit to rant about. I’ve been posting a few screenshots of short poems and paragraphs I’ve been writing on my phone as a way to heal and get over Capricorn boy from my last post on here and I see you guys like and reblog. Thank you for showing love, although it makes me sad that so many of you seem to be going through the same range of emotions I am. I’m sorry.

I know it’s a lonely place to be in.

But, on the bright side, I’ve got a lot of new followers joining the diary/manual/rant page that is blackgirlology and it’s nice cause I think it’s becoming a little bit of a community. So, in a way, were never really going through any of these emotions alone. If you’ve found this page-you’re part of a community. Bask in it.

Anyways, that aside, a lot has happened since I last spoke to you. I don’t know if any of you may remember, and for some new people this will be a surprise. But I’m actually a singer songwriter from Ireland. Moved to London a year and a half ago to pursue my music dream and that’s how I met Capricorn boy whos been the source of all my poems.

Throughout this time in between, I’ve been trying to chase my dreams, and chase them relentlessly. and this summer i did just that, let me tell you, what im about to tell you guys, is to put it simply, wild. I’ll just cut to the chase.

It all started in July. I’d been in London for quite a long time now, over a year and now have a manager who’s my best friend first and foremost. We’ll call her Maya. I met her in my first week of moving to London in the student halls I was staying at and we became best friends pretty quick. She studies music business, so it made sense and she just naturally ended up taking up the role as my music manager. Shes seen everything. The songs I wrote about Capricorn boy, the tears, everything. And she saw everything this summer.

I saw an ad for a record label opportunity in London. It was advertised on my university facebook page; a new indie label, looking for demo submissions for a competition they were setting up to find their new signee. I sent a screenshot to Maya who agreed I should send my stuff in. I did, they liked it, I got a meeting, we were sent terms and conditions for the competition. We signed it, the rest was supposed to be history.

Big yikes.

There’s so many layers to this story that I will be shortening it, just because it can get very draining for me to talk about or even write about. I’ve healed from it i think, but I still want to put it here and write it about to finally close that chapter and be done with my feelings about what happened to me and my music.

Basically, the whole competition, the record label, the dickhead CEO, it was all a scam. I had accidentally signed away the master rights to my new song to a record label started by a fake CEO who was committing fraud and known for tricking young artists into handing over their master rights so he could profit off of them, for power.

It was a mess. Another contestant told me and Maya when we were outside of their office. Just minutes before we were under the impression that I was doing an interview for Billboard Magazine. Honestly, I never truly believed it. Shit was too good to be true.

But she told us everything. How he was actually a run away from Spain, where he was caught and exposed for doing the exact same thing to artists there, how he didn’t have any money to fund the competition he had somehow roped all of us into, how he was illegally avoiding paying his team, how none of the creatives we had collaborated with for photoshoots etc were paid, how everything was a lie, how he didnt have any connections, and how he was trying to convince me specifically to sign a 360 deal with his label.

Which, guys, I’m not stupid. After the first week of being with the label for the competition and letting my song live through their disastrous marketing campaign, Maya and I long decided that regardless of what they said, I would not under any circumstances be signing anything with any entity of their company.

After being told the truth, I had to sit down. You see, when I came across this opportunity, I thought this was finally the life I’d been manifesting coming true. I had begun to grow in my spirituality and start journaling, writing down my manifestations, and getting to work with a record label who would later offer me a fair contract before I turn 20 was one of the manifestations I had written down every night before I went to bed. However, what I’d gotten was the exact opposite.

I remember, me, Maya, and 2 of the girls from the competition all stood around in a circle outside of their new office that the CEO also hadnt paid for wondering what our next move would be with this new information. There was still 2 other contestants inside who had no idea what was really going on was an elaborate scam. One of them wanted to go in and expose them on the spot. I said no, we had to go in and pretend like everything was normal until we figured out what to do afterwards.

So in I went, plastering the fakest smile on my face and pretended like I still thought I was about to be speaking with Billboard Magazine. Once I got out, I broke down in Maya’s arms.

I went home to my flatmates, Ellie and Bea and cried for hours before I had to go work a 7 hour shift at a pizza place.

I stayed in bed, and cried, and cried. and cried again. I didn’t get out of bed unless I needed too. The only people I talked too were my flatmates E and B and Maya.

Everything was sorted out eventually, a lot more happened, but as I’ve been writing this article for you guys, I realised that all of that stuff is no longer relevant to my journey and isnt something I want to bring back into my energetic circle because I’ve made peace with the fact that a lot of people who betrayed me when I was at my lowest, peace with the fact that these contestants who wanted to “work together” to get out of this mess, actually wanted to save their own asses and leave me in the cold.

But I still got out of it and I’m still here.

I nearly got sued by a man with less than 20 pound to his company account online, but hey, I’m here.

I guess why I’m telling you guys this really short account of my summer is to both record it for myself but also to say its okay to flop, its okay to fail. I did both this summer. and thank god i did. it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

following your dreams is scary, doing it as a black girl is terrifying because society has already kind of set you up to fail. there’s already misconceptions about what you do, who you are, where you come from and how good you’re going to be at what you do. its almost like we cant fail and we need to work 10 times harder to obtain half of what the average white person will get. and sometimes it can feel like we dont have any space to fail or make mistakes because of this but let me tell you thats not true.

if anything, the universe will put you in places that will force you to grow through the mistakes you make. and thats exactly what happened to me this summer.

i chased my dream so relentlessly i ended up in an environment i thought i manifested, i thought was good for me, only for the universe to show me that that specific environment i’d been wishing to be in is the furthest from what i need right now in my life.

this so called failure showed me that not everybody who smiles can be trusted, and that people can be way more deceiving than i ever thought, especially when push comes to shove and they need to save themselves. you start to see the real them when it starts to get tense. the people who seem to be around you when you’re doing good will most likely dissapear when things start to go south, including some of your oldest friends. you will get radio silence on their end. be upset. cry. but after that be glad that this situation revealed their true colours.

and then never put any more energy into them again.

this failure showed me how fucking strong i am. how resilient and kind i am even in the face of disrespect and actual evil. it showed me how much i can care for someone who i believe is at a risk of losing it all, and showed me that this will not always be reciprocated. and for a while i thought that meant that i had to harden myself up and grow a shell. but i dont think so. i will not allow the things ive been through to make me into a hard person when i was born soft. i mean now, im a little rough around the edges, jagged enough to cut anyone who comes too close with some of that bad energy, but soft enough to hold myself tight and glue myself back together when i need to. soft enough to hold the people who held me this summer. soft enough to help people who i know deserve it.

im a good person in a shitty world, i don’t need to match the world and become a shitty person to survive.

after all of this happened, i stopped writing music.

i haven’t written anything properly or produced anything in months and sometimes i get worried that ive completely lost my talent. but thats another thing that this failure taught me, i can never truly lose whats meant to be mine. i know that i was put on this earth to create change, to inspire, to be an activist and a voice for people who dont have one. i know i was put here to do it through a creative medium and right now i still think that is music.

i think i just need to stop being so scared to start again, to learn my craft again.

i used to be so scared of failure but now i am so thankful for it and the lessons its taught me. i had so much hurt and pain and hatred in my heart for the universe for, in my head, doing this to me. but then i realised that the universe never does anything to you, it does it for you. all of this happened in my best interest and while i definitely didnt understand at the time, i get it now.

thank you universe for the worst summer of my life.

and my black ass will be continuing to chase my dreams relentlessly, failing, tripping and falling on my ass until i get to the very top.

besides, if everything had just gone right, that wouldnt have been very interesting, would it?

#blackgirlology #black girl #black power #black love #black blogger #Black Blogs #music #blog #blogger #journal #journaling #diary entry #diary of a black girl #diary #dear diary #tumblr diary #dreams

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lil-papaya-tifosi · 6 years ago

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Word count: 4,159

Summary: Jealousy is a bitch. When jealousy pulls you into someone else’s embrace, your lover isn’t too pleased. It seems you are in deep, and you need to make a choice.

Warnings: Dom Taehyung, Dom Hoseok, Sub Reader, unprotected sex, riding, wall sex, oppa kink, lots of dirty talk

Tonight was a Big Hit company party, a gathering that happens each time they boys finish a successful tour. You, being a producer of the company, were also invited. You were excited, finally having an excuse to wear the sexy cocktail dress you bought recently. It was black, with long sleeves, a swoop neck, low cut back that stopped right above your ass and just above mid thigh in length. You felt amazing in it, and matching it up with some black pumps you made your way to the venue. When you got there you you shuffled around a bit, examining your surroundings before you spot him. You and Taehyung have had a sort of secret thing going on. You weren't exclusive, but you two were very close, and you spent late nights together quite often. You couldn't help feeling jealous when you saw him talking to one of the choreographers, looking at her the way he does you, standing too close for you to be comfortable and biting his lip. Your jaw tightens, and you feel sick from the scene. You knew you weren't a couple, but it still caused you pain to see him with another girl. You let out a deep sigh, keeping yourself composed until after the party. You head over to the bar, ordering a drink, when you feel a hand on your shoulder. You turn around to see Hoseok standing there, a big smile on his face. "Well hello there." He smirks, looking you up and down. "Hey." You smile, giving him a hug that seemed to linger. "You look great tonight." He says, taking a seat on the stool next to you. "Thank you! At least someone noticed." You chuckle. You were friends with Hoseok, working with him a lot and occasionally hanging out with him and the other guys. "Someone? Y/N, I'm sure everyone has noticed how hot you look." He smirks, pointing out just a few people that had their eyes locked on you. "Yeah, well, not who counts." You pout before taking a sip of your drink. "Ah. Him. Yeah, I don't know what his problem is." He sighed. All the guys knew you had a thing with Tae, but no one else in the company did. "Its just stupid. I shouldn't get worked up over it." You roll your eyes. "Honestly, I agree. Hes pretty confused, its ridiculous. I think you need to get with someone that knows what they want." Hoseok says, putting his hand on your thigh. Your heart skips a beat, and your eyes meet his, the color of his darker than usual. "H-Hobi." You stutter before he shushes you. He leans into you, his breath tickling your ear. "Why don't we go somewhere? You know, somewhere more private to talk." He whispers. You nod. "Why don't we go to my place?" You whisper, him smirking in response. You agree to leave a few minutes between each other, meeting at your place. When you get to your house you start to get nervous. Hoseok was actually about to come over. He was flirting with you and you completely gave in to him, even invited him to your place. You had to admit, you had been attracted to him too. All of the boys were good looking, having their own charm, but you had always connected with Taehyung and Hoseok the most, their weird and quirky personalities matching yours. You've definitely thought of Hoseok quite a few times, the way his body would move against yours, the way his dancer hips could grind against you. You bit your lips at the thought, the anticipation killing you. You practically jump when you hear knock on your door, rushing to answer it. When you see Hoseok standing there, leaning up against the door frame, you grab him by his shirt, pulling him into your apartment. As soon as hes in the house his lips are on yours, closing the door with your body. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you close to his toned body as your arms wrap around his neck. Your fingers tangle in his hair as he takes your bottom lip between his teeth, causing you to let out a soft moan. He groans in response, picking you up by your thighs. You wrap your legs around his slim waist, his arousal pressing into your core. He walks backwards, carrying you as he makes his way to your couch. He sits down slowly, you straddling his lap as his tongue fights with yours. Your fingers tangle in his soft locks as his hands slide down your back, his fingers teasing the hem of your dress. His rough hands knead the soft flesh of your ass, pulling your hips towards him, causing you to grind against him. You moan softly into his mouth, urging him to squeeze harder. He pulls away one hand, only to land a soft smack on your ass cheek. You whimper at the sensation, causing him to smile against your lips. He does it again, and you grind against him harder. As he groans, you both freeze, hearing your front door open. "Y/N?" You hear a voice crack. You look up to see Taehyung standing at your door, looking surprised and hurt. "Hyung?" He asks, finally seeing Hoseok under you. You and Hoseok stay silent, not knowing what to say. "What the hell is going on?" He asks, anger starting to take over. You're at a loss for words, not knowing what exactly to do. What do you do when the guy you've been fooling around with sees you with another guy? "Ah, hey Tae. I was just gonna show Y/N what it's like to be with someone that actually cares about her." Hoseok smirks. Hoseok's voice echoing through your living room shocked your body into motion, climbing off of him and sitting in the armchair, curling up into yourself. "The hell do you mean 'someone that actually cares about her'?" Taehyung shouts. Hoseok stands from the couch, crossing his arms defensively. "I mean what I said. I like Y/N and you just use her to get your dick wet." Hoseok spits. "What the fuck are you talking about? Of course I have feelings for her!" Taehyung replies. "Then why were you talking to Jinsoo like that?" You asked. "Like what?" Taehyung asked, genuinely confused. "You were standing really close and biting your lip and stuff. You were flirting. If you really liked me you wouldn't flirt with other girls." You say. "Dammit, Y/N, I wasn't flirting. She asked how I was doing with the new choreography, you know, small talk, and I saw you walk in out of the corner of my eye and you looked so fucking hot, but I couldn't exactly show I was looking at you, you said you didnt want them to know. So I bit my lip because just seeing you was causing a problem for me." He sighs. "Really? That was it?" You asked. "Yes!" He exclaims. The shock of what's happened sets in. You got jealous over something that didnt even happen, and made out with one of Taehyung's best friends. "Oh my god." You mumble. "Y/N, do you like him? In that way?" Taehyung asks. You look between the men, both looking at you expectantly. "K-kinda." You stutter. "And how do you feel about me?" He asks. "I-I mean, I've had feelings for you for a while. I just thought with all the fans and stuff you wouldnt want anything serious." You reply. "So, you came back here to what, were you two gonna fuck?" Taehyung asks. You and Hoseok look at each other, trying to find an answer from each other. "Well, don't stop on my account. Go ahead. You know what, actually? I have an idea." Taehyung says with a smirk. It scares you a little, not knowing exactly what's going to happen. "Why don't we make this a little competition? We both have feelings for Y/N, and Y/N has feelings for both of us. So, why don't we compete? Why don't we both make her feel good, then she can pick who made her feel the best. That way, you'll both know that she belongs to me." Taehyung says. "I'm down." Hoseok says immediately. "Wait, what?" You ask, confused. They both move to stand in front of you. "What do you say, baby girl?" Hoseok asks.You bite your lip, thinking about it. You felt bad since this all started because you blew things out of proportion, but you had to admit, you really did want to fuck Hoseok. "Okay." You say, looking up at them. "Perfect. Hyung, why don't you go first? You should always save the best for last." Taehyung smirks. "With pleasure, but not for that reason." Hoseok says. He sits down on the couch, smirking at you. "Come here, baby girl. Why don't we continue where we left off?" He says. You stand, going over to sit back down on his lap, his hands holding onto your waist. Taehyung takes a seat in the armchair, watching you both. You look back at him nervously, only for Hoseok to cup your jaw with his hand, turning your head back towards him. "Forget about him right now, baby girl. Focus on me right now." He says. "I'm gonna make you feel good, baby girl. Do you want that? You want Oppa to make you feel good?" Your breath hitches at the nickname he gave himself, a cocky smirk forming on his lips. You bite your lip, nodding. He pulls your head down towards his, your lips connecting in a hungry kiss. You can feel his bulge pressing against your core, grinding down on it, searching for some friction as your tongues explore each other's mouths. He groans into your mouth, bundling your dress at your hips, allowing him to easily grip your ass, pulling you to grind harder on him. You moan, your noises being swallowed by him. "Baby girl, why don't you help Oppa take this dress off, yeah?" He asks. You nod, pulling away, grabbing the bundled fabric. You lift it up, pulling it over your head and tossing it on the floor, the cold air of your apartment making your nipples stand out. "No bra? Fuck, such a naughty girl." Hoseok says, grabbing your hips and looking at your body. You gasp as he adjusts the two of you, laying you down on the couch with him on top of you. His lips start to work on your neck as his hand slides to your legs, his fingertips grazing over your panties. You grip his arm, moaning as he nips at your neck and his fingers press onto your clothed clit. "Damn, baby girl, you're so wet for me." He groans into your neck. He pulls back, kneeling on the floor as his fingers hook under the waistband of your panties, pulling them down your legs. You sit up a little to properly see what he does as he spreads your legs, licking his lips as he looks down at your drenched core. He brings his hand towards the area, two fingers spreading your lips apart, putting you on full display for him. "Shit, baby girl. You look so pretty. I bet you taste good too." He groans, biting his lip. He dips his head down, gripping your thighs as he licks a long stripe along your slit. You gasp at the feeling, throwing your head back in pleasure. He hums into your core, closing his eyes as his lips wrap around your clit, his face looking as if hes tasting the greatest treat of his life. Your fingers tangle in his hair, soft moans falling from your lips as he laps at your clit, sucking on it lightly and dipping his tongue into your entrance from time to time. His tongue feels like heaven, his occasional hums and groans sending vibrations through you that make you shake with overwhelming pleasure. "Fuck, Oppa." You whine as he sucks on your clit harshly. He smiles against you, looking up at you as he tongue fucks your hole, watching as he brings you closer and closer to absolute bliss. Your eyes are tightly shut, eyebrows knit and your mouth hung open as you rest your head against the arm of the couch. Your hips move involuntarily against his mouth, trying to somehow get closer. He sets your legs on his shoulders, wrapping his arms around your thighs and holding them lightly as he starts getting rougher, sucking loudly on your clit and flicking his tongue vigorously. You start to shake as your orgasm comes dangerously close, but he holds onto you tightly, burying his tongue inside of you. "Ah, fuck!" You cry, your back arching and fingers tugging on his hair as your orgasm washes over you.He continues to work his tongue over you slowly, helping you ride out your high while lapping up all of your juices. He pulls away, licking his lips as he looks down at you with lust blown eyes. "Baby girl, I need you so bad. I've waited so long for this." He says, getting up and stripping his clothes off. As you watch him slowly expose his toned body, you see Taehyung out of the corner of your eye, finally remembering that he's there. His eyes are on you, his cheeks flushed and mouth hung open, only shallow breaths escaping. He looked just about as fucked out as you, yet no one has even touched him yet, not even himself. "Ah ah ah, baby girl. Focus on me." Hoseok says, pulling your attention away from Taehyung. Once hes fully undressed, you're finally able to fully appreciate Hoseok's body. You can definitely tell what everyone means by "dancer's body". Slim waist, toned abdomen, muscular thighs, all absolutely stunning. Your eyes trace lower, widening as you see his fully erect cock, the pink tip glistening with precum. It's not as big as Taehyung's from the looks of it, but it's not small by any means. "Baby girl, I need you to ride me, right now. You up for that?" He asks. You nod eagerly, climbing on top of him as soon as he sits down. You automatically take hold of his cock, causing him to hiss as you pump him. "Shit, baby girl, just sit on my cock already, don't be a tease." He groans. You smirk at him before lining him up to your entrance. "Wait, you don't want to use a condom or anything?" Hoseok asks. You shake you head, smirking. "I'm on the pill. Condoms are too much work. Plus," you pause, looking back at Taehyung "he has a thing about cumming inside." You say. "Damn right." Taehyung growls. "Well, I'm the one whose tongue you just came on and dick you're about to sit on. It's my time, baby girl. Dont think about him." Hoseok says. You nod in agreement, focusing back on the task at hand. You look down, making sure everything is good before lowering yourself down onto him. You sigh in relief as he fills you up, both of your heads falling back in pleasure. "Fuck, I cant remember the last time I fucked raw. You feel so fucking good, baby girl." He groans. You start to move your hips, his hands on your hips as you start to bounce, needing the friction. The sound of skin slapping echoes through your living room as you ride him, fast and hard, his nails digging into the soft skin at your hips, sure to leave small crescent shaped marks. After a bit, your legs start to get tired, your movements slowing down. "Are you getting a little tired?" He asks, disappointed. You nod. "Fuck it." He groans. He grips your ass, lifting you up until only his tip is inside of you, before driving his hips up, pounding into you. You gasp loudly, your head falling onto his shoulder as you allow him to take over. He grunts as be slams into you from below, sweat dripping from his hairline. "Fuck, oh my god." You mumble int his neck. "Does it feel good, baby girl? Tell Oppa how good it feels." He groans. "I-It feels so-so fucking good." You moan. He chuckles deeply, continuing to pound into you, the tip of his cock grazing against your sweet spot. "Fuck! Oppa, right there!" You cry out, holding onto him tightly. He grunts in understanding, moving so he can pound into that spot, pushing you closer to the edge. You had always imagined what his sinful hips were capable of, and know that you were, you were pretty sure you were addicted. The way they snapped up to bury his cock deep inside of you at a fast, rough pace was euphoric, and you couldn't stop yourself from moaning his name as your walls clenched around him, causing him to groan loudly. "Shit, ah, fuck!" He groans, his hips stuttering, unable to hold back any longer as he releases into you, white painting your walls as his head falls back onto the couch. He starts to move a bit slower, both of you trying to catch your breath. He relaxes back down onto the couch, you sitting on top of him, resting your head on his shoulder. "God, that was amazing." He sighs, chuckling a bit. "Now, Princess, I think it's my turn." Taehyung smirks. The sound of the familiar, sultry voice had you getting excited all over again, and you couldn't help the shaky breath that escaped your lips. He stands, walking over to you and taking your hand, helping you off of Hoseok. Your knees are a bit wobbly, and you stumble a bit into him, one of his arms wrapping tightly around your waist. "Hey, why don't you relax a little bit before you cum again? Why don't you help me out a little, huh? Wanna show Hoseok hyung how much you love my cock and how good your mouth is?" Taehyung whispers into your hear, his deep, husky voice causing you to whimper. You nod, regaining your balance. "Where do you want to do it?" You ask. He smiles, cupping your cheek in his large hand. "Such a good girl, always so willing to do anything, anywhere. I bet I could've had you at the party too and you wouldn't have complained at all, huh?" He smirks. "Why not right here? Right in front of Hyung. That way he can see up close how your mouth was made for my cock." You nod, sinking to your knees instantly. "Good girl. Such a good girl." He cooes, stroking your hair. You know exactly what to do, undoing his pants and pulling them down just enough to free his cock, his tip rosy and glistening. You swipe your tongue over his slit quickly, tasting the saltiness of his precum. "Don't tease me, Princess. You know better." He growls. You wrap your lips around him before your hum in response, the vibrations causing him to tense. You hold his length in your hand, licking along the bottom, the thick vein pulsing underneath your tongue. "Fuck, I needed this tonight. I haven't had you in almost a week." He groans, grabbing your hair and holding it in a ponytail. You sink down onto him, taking as much as you can into your mouth while your hand works over what you can't reach, giving a harsh suck as you pull back, Taehyung letting out a sharp hiss. You hollow your cheeks, starting a steady, quick pace, just how he likes. His hips start moving instinctively, and you take deep breaths through your nose as he starts to fuck your mouth. As he thrusts, you suck, and it's not long before he's bent over, sweat dripping from his temple. One more thrust and the bitter liquid pours from his cock and into your mouth. He pulls out, catching his breath as he watches you swallow every drop. "Fuck, Princess. You suck me off so well. Stand up." He orders, and you comply. The rough pads of his fingers trace over your delicate skin. His soft lips attack yours, quickly nipping at your bottom lip. His actions are always so primal, it makes your heart race. He steps out of his pants and boxers before he picks you up by the back of your thighs, carrying you over to the wall before slamming you against it hard, causing you to whimper into his mouth. He sets you down before unbuttoning his top, throwing his blazer and silk button up to the side. "Do you wanna go to the bedroom?" You ask softly, running your nails over his bare torso. "Fuck no. I'm gonna take you right here." He growls, picking you up again. You wrap your legs around his waist, your arms around his neck. He wastes no time in positioning himself easily, having done this at least a hundred times. He glides in almost effortlessly, giving you the stretch you always crave, filling you up all the way to the brim. He was unbelievably thick and long, and he felt absolutely perfect inside of you. He really didn't have to go hard on you even, but he was a bit of an over achiever. He slams into you instantly, causing you to cry out in absolute bliss, your head falling back against the wall. He takes the opportunity to attack your neck with his lips, leaving as many marks as possible as he thrusts into you harshly. Moans and profanities tumble from your lips as tingles run through your body, growing louder once he hits that sweet spot deep inside of you. "How does it feel, Princess? Why don't you tell Hoseok how it feels." He groans into your ear, his hot breath fanning over you as he grunts softly with each thrust. "It feels so good!" You cry out between moans. "And whose making you feel this good, Princess? What's my name? Say my name, Princess." He moans, nipping at your earlobe. "Y-you Daddy! You always make me feel so good!" You moan, your nails taking against his back. He groans at the feeling, tempting you you dig your nails into him harder, knowing that he enjoys seeing the marks when you're done. "You're damn right. I'm gonna fuck Hoseok hyung's cum out of you so only mine stays inside of you." He groans into your ear. Just the sound of his deep voice, his hot breath on your neck, has you clenching around him. He can tell how close you are, bringing his hand down to rub your clit as he slows his pace, making sure he doesn't finish before you. "Fuck, oh my god!" You groan, your back arching, pressing your chest against his as your walls start spasming around him. Your vision goes white, a warm feeling washing over you as you let go. After a few thrusts Taehyung hunches over, groans loudly into your shoulder as he releases, coating your insides. You stay like that, holding onto him tightly as you catch your breath, not trusting your balance enough to stand properly. "Fuck, I missed that. I've been going crazy this past week." He mumbles against your skin. You nod in agreement, only capable of that. He pulls out of you slowly, helping you down before picking up to carry you to the couch, sitting down with you in his lap next to Hoseok. "So, Princess, what do you say?" Taehyung asks. "Huh?" You mutter. Both of the men chuckle deeply. "Tae, I think we might've fucked the memory out of her. This was a competition to see who you want to be with more. Did you make a decision?" Hoseok smiles hopefully. "Oh, well, both of you were amazing, and I like both of you a lot. I can't decide." You mumble, your head still a bit fuzzy. "Well then, don't." Hoseok says. "What? What do you mean?" You ask. "Well, what if you don't have to choose? What if we you know, share?" "Share? You want to share her?" Taehyung raises an eyebrow. "Well I don't want to really, but we both want her to be happy, right? I think that'd be a decent solution. Look, I know you guys have had a thing for a while, so I won't overstep, but I know she has feelings for me too." Hoseok says. You nod, agreeing that you do have feelings for him. "Princess, is this what you want?" Taehyung asks softly. You nod, and he smiles. "Well then, it's a deal. Just be prepared, Y/N, we both went easy today. Having us both at the top of our game at the same time might not be easy for you." Taheyung warns. "I think I can handle it." You giggle. "Let's hope so." They both smirk.

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redefiningthirtysomething · 5 years ago

Text

Ever have a family member that you didn't like? so much so that if they weren't related to you, you would never even consider being their friend? I have one, and that's my little sister. Sad isn't it? It wasn't always this way.

Before I get into why we don't speak, I'm not coming from a place of judgement. I'm nobody to judge, which she doesn't understand. She thinks I judge her, but in all honesty she has made poor Choices and she doesn't take accountability. I decided to set boundaries with her and that makes me "judgy" apparently.

Let's call her Rain. Rain is 5 years younger than me, so that makes her 32. She's the baby of the family and has really taken that title to the next level. This girl has always been the "crazy" one, partying a lot, following bands on tour in Mexico, boy crazy ... always getting her way. That's ok too, as long as she was always being safe. I understood that when she was 18, 19 ... 20. Rain talks a lot of shit for someone who doesn't have their shit together, and I swear it comes back to her each time. Whatever she was talking shit on happens to her.

Anyway, I can go on and on about her crazy childhood and teen years, I could probably write a book about it, time I dont have right now though. I'm just going to jump forward a bit.

2012. She went through a divorce a few years ago from the father of her kids. Very ugly, bitter divorce. Rain has 2 kids, a girl who's 10 and a boy who's 6. Rain got pregnant by a one night stand And they were forced to get married by his parents, they are very religious and felt it was the right thing. I didnt agree with that, but she went ahead and did it. They tried to make the marriage work, they got pregnant again with the boy, hoping it would help them. Rain was fed up though, she hated her life, she wanted to go out and party, be with her friends who were living their lives, but she couldn't. She hated it. She used to live next door to me, we lived in a small apartment in LA and when the neighbors moved we told them to apply for it and they got it. They lived there for about a year until one day Rain decided to leave. She took her kids and they moved in with my mom. Her husband was beside himself, he asked me for advice. I didnt know the ins and outs of the relationship, things are always different behind closed doors right ? She claimed that he beat her, he controlled her, abused her. He claimed she would sneak out to go party and didnt want to care for the kids. A lot of back and forth ... very different stories. So, he stayed in the apartment for about another year before he gave up and filed for divorce. He hoped she would come back, but she was very happy living her new life. She was living rent free and was able to go out, since our mom was home and able to watch the kids. Ok, cool.

Divorce was done and she was free. She started dating, sleeping around ... no judgement, she was single. As long as she was safe. BUT, we found out she moved some guy into my moms condo without my mom knowing. My mom works and travels alot, so it's easy for this to happen. But when my mom found out, she was upset, but didn't do anything about it. I was mad only because she has a little girl and she didn't really know this guy. Ya know? Plus the kids didn't have their own rooms, they slept with her. It was just weird for me. Anyway, couple years later they broke up and he moved out. Then another guy, and another one ... I didn't like the fact that her kids met all these new guys, or that she moved them in. It's like she cant be without a man.

Ex husband fought for 50/50 custody (thank God) and had them on the weekend. Every weekend. Also, ex husband got remarried but Rain doesn't get along with new wife. I wonder why to be honest, I met her and she's nice. I guess it's a territorial thing ? The kids love their stepmom, so that's all that matters.

Ok, now we are in 2018. I'm pregnant with Olivia. We had a falling out for a few months because she stole 2k from our mom. Not cool. They have the same name, so it was easy for her. So I hadn't spoken to her but the day I gave birth she showed up at the hospital. We spoke as if we were never in an argument. It's weird how sisters can do that, right ? I let it go, if mom didn't care why should I. After having Olivia my mom wanted me to stay at her place for 2 weeks so she could help me while I recovered. So, we moved in right after I got out of the hospital. First couple of days were nice, rain was there and was helping with the baby. Her kids were ecstatic to have us there, Bella was having a blast. I had heard of a new boyfriend that she had, but I hadn't yet met. She wanted to take it slow and not introduce him yet. I understand since all the rest were douchbag.

Rain received sad news about an ex boyfriend from high school who had been killed in a hit and run. I remember him, he was the sweetest. They had remained friends over the years so she was devastated. She planned to attend the funeral but didn't want to take her kids. Since I was staying there I offered to watch the kids, I didnt want them to have to go to the funeral.

Side note: I rarely offer to help with her kids because she never shows up the time she says. Also, I used to pick up the kids from school and I had to take them to my place until she got home, usually late and I had to help with homework and dinner. It was hard for us sometimes as we had things to do and we had to take her kids with us. However her kids love us, they say we are the parents they wish they had.

Ok, back to the story. She goes to the funeral.

Day 1: A few hours go by and it's getting later and later. I'm about 5 days post partum, so naturally I'm exhausted. Mom is at work, so we're just at my moms place hanging out. I text her, no response. I text again, no response. I'm starting to worry. I put all the kids to bed and assure the kids they'll see their mom in the morning. Around midnight my phone rings and it's an unknown number. I answered right away since I was worried about rain. It's one of rains old friend from high school who attended the funeral. He says to me that Rain had a lot to drink and was not able to get home. He says to me that she's ok, it was a rough day for all of them and he would bring her home in the morning. I had no choice, so I agreed and we hung up.

(Come to find out later that was her boyfriend on the line, pretending to be a friend from HS, she had left the funeral hours ago)

Day 2: We wake up and we get the kids ready for school. I'm still trying to get used to the new baby while juggling breakfast for the kids. Her kids kept asking about mom, so I told them she was at her best friend's house because it got late. Eli drove all the kids and then left for work. I'm home all day at my moms, had a few visitors wanting to see the baby. No word from Rain yet. No word from Rain all day. Eli picks up all the kids after school and brings them home. We make dinner and play, while attempting to call and text Rain for an answer. Mom is calling Rain leaving voicemails telling her to get her ass home. No call backs and no reply. We all go to bed. Around 2 am I heard my bedroom door open but it was dark and I could not see, I heard keys and the front door close. It took me a minute to get up, post csection, it's hard. Who was here?

Day 3: woke up, its daylight and bright in the house. I go to the kids room, maybe Rain showed up last night, maybe shes asleep. I walk in to see the kids asleep, but no Rain. I walk into her closet and I see stuff has been taken, shoes and clothes. I look for a toothbrush and it's gone. Perfumes, gone. Hmmm did Rain come last night to get her stuff ? I text Rain, now I'm mad. I'm frantically texting her that she better reply and I threaten to call ex husband. Oh? Guess what ? I got a reply. Interesting.

She texted something along the lines of: hey, its Rain. Sorry I haven't texted you. I'm having a rough time with S death. I need some time. I feel so lost. I'm with J at his place (J is her new boyfriend) . Are you ok to watch the kids, I'll be back. I'll text you.

My response: uh, well yea I mean I guess bit what should I tell them ? When are you coming back? Look, I know this is rough so I'll hang on to them until tomorrow, cool ?

I got no response after that, but at least I know she was ok. I updated mom and middle sister and we all felt better but were still shocked about how inconsiderate she was being.

Day 4: no text or phone call at all. We get the kids to school, pick them up, get homework done. Kids shower and go to bed. Her daughter who was maybe 7 or 8 at the time was worried. She was texting her too, I read her messages : mom, please come home. Where are you ?

I was so mad at this point. Her daughter was so worried and slept at the foot of the bed every night waiting for her mom. So Infuriating. I'm still exhausted and in pain.

I get a call from cousin in Florida, at around 10 pm which his time was 1am. He calls me and asks me what's going on? I had not yet told him what was happening so I was wondering what he was referring to. Rain had just called him. She was drunk out of her mind in DTLA in some bar, she was crying and yelling about how she Hates her life, how she Hates being a mom and Hates everything. Cousin told her to calm down and that he would call me to go pick her up in DTLA. We called her back on three way but cousin told me to be quiet. I listened to that mess for 30 minutes before I had to hang up. She was yelling and cussing, she told him NOT to tell me because I'm judgy ass bitch, wanna be perfect mom and I'll talk shit to her.

At this point, I'm over her. How can she do this to her kids? To me ? I'm over here, still freaking bleeding after my delivery, making sure her kids are safe and fed and loved. While she's out partying ? At bars ? I called cousin back and told him that I will not go get her in DTLA.

Day 5: I think this was a Thursday now, we had picked up the kids from school and went to shakeys pizza for dinner. No texts or calls from Rain all day. I was considering calling ex husband since the weekend was getting close. But, I remembered that he lost his weekend privileges for hitting the little boy. I didn't know what to do at this point.

Side note: little boy has behavior issues, he's been held back from kindergarten for his behavior and bad grades. He spit in his step moms face and ex husband hit him with a belt that left a mark. Rain took him to court to get full custody. He didnt lose the kids however, he had to attend parenting and anger management classes, which he did and his case was dismissed.

Day 6: no word yet. I texted her boyfriend and I told him to bring her home. I told him she has worried children. I asked him if he knew she has 2 kids at home. Want to know what his reply was?

Thank you for your concern.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN !!! ??? Really?? A big fat Fuck You. I think at this point my blood pressure rose, I got heated and my neck started to pound. I cried out of frustration and sadness for my niece and nephew. I thought, what if I adopt them ? I thought about bringing them with me to AZ? Ex husband would fight me for them though. I called friends for advice. I asked middle sister for guidance. Everyone told me to report her to child protection services. But I couldn't because of the fear they would take the kids to a foster home. At that time I couldn't take them to my place. It was small and would not meet criteria for 2 extra kids. Nobody could take them if we needed. I prayed about it.

I had my finger in the phone ready to call CPS, but I couldn't do it. My mom begged me not to she begged me to continue to help with the kids until Rain got home. She told me we needed to help her, she was not ok. I didnt call them. I couldn't. I love those kids. I couldn't put them through that.

I texted Rain in one final attempt. I told her she needed to pick up her kids from school and if she did not then I was going to report her. No answer.

Turns out I didnt have to. Daughter spoke to a counselor at school and the school reported it. When Eli went to pick up the kids they did not release them to him, CPS was there. They called me shortly after and asked me what was going on. I explained to them. They called ex husband but since he couldn't take them at the time due to court restrictions they asked his parents to take them. His parents home did not meet criteria and they were taken to a foster care for the night.

I cannot begin to tell you how much I cried that night. I cried so hard. I was so mad. I was infuriated. How can she do this to them ? Did I fail them ? They must have been so scared. I had my new baby in my arms, breastfeeding and crying for those kids when I should have been enjoying every second with Olivia. I went home that night. I couldn't stay at my moms anymore.

Day 7: I wake up in a fog, still upset from the night before. I check my phone and I had a missed call from middle sister. I called her back and she tells me Rain was able to get her kids back last night from CPS and she is at home. How did that happen I ask ? Middle sister said that she thought I called CPS last night and told them it was all a misunderstanding and I was just upset about babysitting for a few hours.

What? I didn't call ...

Someone impersonated me. She had someone call pretending it was me ... that really scared me.

I called my mom and she said yes, Rain has the kids. CPS apparently asked my mom if this was true that Rain had been gone only for a few hours and my mom totally covered for her.

My mom reason behind it was because she doesn't want the kids to go to a foster home.

I didnt speak to my mom for 2 months after that call.

A couple days after that I received a text from Rain and she basically told me off and told me that she can't believe I reported her. I told to her that I did not make the call...but I should have. We completely blocked each other from everything. She told everyone we know, friends and relatives that I reported her. That's fine, I'll take it.

Get this though, this girl can't get it together to save her life. She has now lost custody of the kids to ex husband. After so much drama, her showing up late for drop offs and pick ups, showing up drunk, starting fights with new wife, picking kids up late from school ... ex husband documented everything and he got a video of her drunk at pick up. The kids now live with him in a house and are doing so well. They're so happy. They chose to live with dad. Oh and the things the kids told the judge, so sad. Apparently she doesn't even cook for them. She's allowed visitation every other weekend. She still lives with my mom, has NO job, no goals... she just parties and hangs out with that douch.

My mom was out of town when this court meeting happened and Rain lost the kids, so nobody actually heard why she lost them. Apparently she told mom that it was because of me, that the judge said MY NAME and that I wrote a letter or some bullshit. And my mom question me about it. First of all, so not true, they cant just use my name and say things without me being there, seriously. I wonder about my mom sometimes.

Ex husband allows me to talk to the kids whenever I want. He was the only person who thanked me for keeping his kids safe and loved. And yes he did ask me for help in taking the kids from my sister, but I said no. I decided to stay out of that.

That is something that I will never ever forgive my sister for. What she put me though, my family... and what she put her kids through. I'm not a perfect mom, not at all, but you just dont do that. And although I see her around at gatherings or holidays, we dont speak. She's not there, I completely ignore her. I go about my time with the family. I have a very strong set boundary with her and she knows it.

She knows that I didnt report her but she needs someone to blame. She cant accept her fault, but she knows. We know.

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